Stories by canoncansodoff

Extreme measures are taken to distract Molly long enough for Bill to both neutralize a love potion and ask Harry to help make his engagement to Fleur possible. A kinder, smuttier alternative to Book Six's "An Excess of Phlegm" chapter. H/Hr, Bill/Fleur.

A "Hermione Retrieves Her Parents" story. Harry and Ron tag along, and catch the interest of local witches who are dealing with the after-effects of a magical virus that has left most Aussie wizards casting blanks. Blissfully Molly-free; eventual H/Hr.

My take on "Truth or Dare" and other fun games, as played by Hermione, Harry and their friends during a post-Voldemort Eighth Year at Hogwarts. Not to be taken as much more than fluffy mindless beach reading...unless, of course, you are presently enjoying winter in "God's own Land," far, far away from those stuck-up stuffy beaks.

Harry formulates an innovative taunting-based Occlumency barrier inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Snape retaliates by threatening to reveal Harry's perviest memories and fantasies, including those involving a certain bushy-haired best friend.

James and Lily give the goblins of Gringotts a very good reason to ensure that their little raven-haired King of the Wild Things reaches adulthood.

Harry is struck down by a nasty curse that requires some non-traditional medical care in South India. Hermione, Padma, and Parvati volunteer to assist in his care, and a menage-a-foursome is born. Harry/multi.

Close adaptation of "The Graduate," with a young Dustin Hoffman playing the role of Harry Potter. Harry tries to figure out what to with his life after he defeats Voldemort and graduates from Hogwarts. Cue a magical Mrs. Robinson.

Hermione is in great need of a place where Harry and she can relax and act like normal teenagers after a stressful Remedial Potions lesson. The Room of Requirement exceeds her expectations.

Multi-generational "James and Lily live" story. Harry Potter embraces both his Shikima and Welsh heritages while the magical world focuses on Daphne Greengrass, "The-Girl-Who-Lived." A H/multi fanfic that incorporates elements of "La Blue Girl".

Harry figures things out when Hermione is allowed to dress the Golden Trio in coordinated Star Wars-themed outfits for a Halloween costume ball.

A seventh-year saga that begins one hour after Dumbledore's funeral. Harry gets some unexpected and unexpectedly useful help from the Muggle World...so much that wonders whether the power he knows not is actually the British monarchy! HHr, RWLL

Head Girl Hermione teaches Head Boy Harry how to properly enforce school rules which appear to be suspiciously similar to the ratings guidelines of certain fanfiction web sites. Crack-fic parody.

Eighteen years after Voldemort's demise and Snape's incarceration in New Azkaban, Clan Potter sends him the magical equivalent of the annual newsletters that occasionally get stuffed into muggle Holiday Cards. Harry/Harem holiday crack fiction.

OotP AU, Hermione's POV. Fifth-Year Prefect Hermione Granger joins the powerful, top-secret, gay-friendly Coven of Prefects. Will Coven duties conflict with her O.W.L. revision schedule and her support for Harry as he struggles against Umbridge et al.?

Harry is hit by a dark curse that causes his skin and lungs to burn on contact with air. Hermione hits upon a novel treatment plan that involves hydrotherapy, hormones, and a backyard swimming pool. Harry/Hermione/Vector others?

Hermione and the other new fifth-year female prefects discover that their most important duties aren't described in their Prefect's Handbook. This Hr/Padma version is ON HIATUS. See "A Coven of Prefects - Harmony Version" for H/Hr in-progress updates.

Harry's true feelings for Hermione are revealed when he tries to replace the pair of knickers that he accidentally-on purpose vanished. Hermione then returns the favor. Fluffy H/Hr one shot with a disturbing reference to Petunia Dursley's laundry.

Harry needs to do some soaking to figure out the Second Task's clue, but the Map always shows it busy, with couples forming overlapping dots. Dobby helps out, and Harry and Hermione end up doing some overlapping of their own.

Just another shameless plot device to make Harry and Hermione realize each other's feelings with the help of some bared skin...Yenta Tonks schemes when she's asked to provide the entertainment for the bachelorette party that Hermione is in charge of.

Hermione Granger decides to test the effectiveness of the wards on Privet Drive by attempting an overnight visit. And then it's Luna's turn. Then Katie Bell's. Then Susan's.... PreHBP. Rating bumped from T to M to cover future updates.

Ron is poisoned, and the hag that holds the only available antidote wants Harry to pay for it in sweat. The catch? The sweat must be gathered by one virgin witch while Harry deflowers a second. Who is going to help? Who is qualified to help?

Harry and Ron have to write some postHBP poetry. Harry writes some angsty stuff about his hidden feelings for the girl that he loves...and then that girl reads it. Oneshot. Rated M for Ron's crude limmericks.

Harry and Hermione get more than they bargain for when Headmistress McGonagall asks them to pose for the great wizard artist Master Rondino. A naughty love story in Five Acts.

Harry and Hermione get more than they initially bargained for when they employ flirtation as grief therapy.

Harry learns a lot about Hermione when he's asked to pick a movie from her video collection.