Stories by larrythestapler

Potassium was destined to give off 1 electron, and thus the ionic wizards called him, "The Giving One." Is Lord Iodine a perfect math with his 7 valence electrons? Read to see if there was really a redox reaction between them!

Mudblood. What a difference eight little letters made. Out of every permutation possible for those three vowels, five consonants, he chose those exact letters, stringing them together without really thinking of the consequences. Poem/Vignette.

James is acting strangely and Lily tries to convince him something is wrong. Out on a night of Prefects' duty, they encounter Dementors and James is kissed, and not the good kind of kiss! Lily/James. Oneshot.

Everything in her memory felt like a waltz, her waltz into love, and her sad waltz out of it, swung and led by none other than Lucius Malfoy. It was only nice to say that they fell and hurt themselves for love.

“Malfoy,” Harry coldly whispered, pronouncing each syllable with an aria of lust. Lavender peeps in the boys' locker room to see Draco and Harry embracing each other passionately! Draco attempts to ask Hermione out but gets a surprising answer instead.

Minerva is a young, strict teacher waiting for an interview at The Hog's Head. Abe is a flirty bartender slash playboy in need of a new waitress. What will happen when those two clash? Based on the TV show, Cheers, which I do not own.

Severus Snape loved her, even when she was gone. Bereaving, he knows that he must move on, and understands that the only thing left to do is bury the dead. He had to protect her living child, not matter what. Spoilers for Book 7.

In the darkness of the night, Harry steals Hermione's innocence forever. The glance in Draco's eyes soften as he sees Hermione running through the crowd. Will he be able to bring her back? Rated T for implied abuse and alcohol. Dramione.

Lily loosely promises James one date. He, to her distaste, takes her to Madame Puddifoot's, where the Death Eaters attack the eatery with threats and pink Death Marks, as Dementors are sent from the Ministry. Hiding, James and Lily find a shared interest.

Harry wakes up one morning and feels a distant apathy from his wife. But he relives all reasons why he enjoyed waking up next to her every morning. He loved everything about her, from her insecurities to her kiss. And no one could take that feeling away.

The girls take on the boys in the Semi-Annual Ladies Versus Gentlemen Quidditch Match at Hogwarts. James makes an effort to woo Lily, who remains disgusted and apathetic towards his flirts. Will Bludgers and battle scars mend their relationship? Oneshot.

Draco sacrifices his ego, even to the point where he picks up feces, for Hermione's hand in marriage. Will she say yes for Draco's love, or his hardcore rock and sexy literature skills? Fin.

Draco writes a mathematical proof. Given: His love for Hermione is infinite, like the stellar regions of this limitless universe. Prove: Why Hermione Granger should marry Draco Malfoy. -DracoxHermione FLUFF- & bad math jokes.

REJECTED!" Ron and Harry chimed in a monotone. Draco tries all options to win Hermione's love but results in epic fails. Will they? Won't they? Songfic based on Dashboard Confessional Song "Hey Girl." Oneshot. Read and Review!

“Hermione, are you a tamale? Because you sure are hot.” Draco winked. Hermione…Hermione tried not to vomit. Oneshot. Rated T for VERY suggestive language.

Cho and Harry are departing. Harry is indifferent and Cho cries. It is a time of danger, where all Muggleborns are being hunted down.