Stories by Bag of Depravity

Naruto Uzumaki had enough. Konoha always treated him like trash, so why should he fight for them? He'd rather leave, and with the help of what's in his gut he does just that. Hunter-nin, capture squads, assassination attempts, it's all part of life as a missing-nin. Not that Naruto minds. He'll put up with all of it, if that's what it takes to live a life that's truly free.

Sick of his fame, Harry retired from the ministry to Muggle London. But when he returns for one more Auror job, things go wrong, stranding him decades in the past. Only, this isn't the past he remembers. There's a different Boy Who Lived. War is on the horizon. With nowhere else to go, Harry ends up back at Hogwarts, this time as a teacher. Of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Right?

Hecate decides the fight between her favorite legacies is too unfair. How is a teenager supposed to fight a dark wizard with a decades-long head start? Her solution is to call in a somewhat different, more jaded Percy Jackson as Harry's new bodyguard, to help level the playing field. Hogwarts's fairer half are more than grateful to have a new demigod hunk on the premises.

The final battle went wrong. Percy is left as a fledgling god in a titan-ruled world, desiring a revenge that seems impossible until he stumbles onto a secret. Zeus didn't sleep around just for pleasure. The more women a god sleeps with, the greater their power grows. Percy will do what and who he has to to make his goals a reality. That's what it means to be In Pursuit of Power.

Auror work isn't all it's cracked up to be. After years in the business, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley are officially sick of it. So when a new crisis crops up, one stemming from purebloods inability to satisfy their beautiful wives, the two don't think twice about accepting a new offer. Welcome to the Department of Housewife Health and Happiness! It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Harry Potter traveled back in time. He changed the past, creating a future where all his friends survived and Voldemort got his due. So why is he back for a third time, and what is there left for him to do? Whatever he wants. Meaning witches, mostly. Lots and lots of witches. Harry/many.

A very different Harry Potter raised as Voldemort's Lieutenant does his best to navigate the slaves and politics of a post-war world, all while his master grows increasingly paranoid. Is Harry really satisfied with the life that was chosen for him... or will he find his own path? A certain quarter-veela believes she knows the answer. Harry/Fleur/Multi.

Hinata Hyuuga doesn't like Naruto Namikaze one bit. He's arrogant, brash, and all around a waste of space, which makes their impending marriage unfortunate. Why couldn't he be more like Fox, the mysterious, dominant shinobi that Hinata hasn't been to get out of her head? Now that's a man worth tying the knot with. Preferable multiple. Around her wrists. In a bed all to themselves.

As the god of sexual delight, a child of Poseidon and Aphrodite, Perseus was no stranger to causing trouble. Then his luck ran out. Stripped of his immortality, cast out of Olympus by Zeus, his only chance to return to the cushy divine life is by satisfying the demigod daughters of twelve different gods and goddesses. The poor mortal world won't know what hit it. Quest-style story.

Back at Camp Half-Blood on summer vacation from college, Percy and Annabeth were enjoying life as retired heroes to the fullest. But when girls at Camp begin dropping to a mysterious curse that threatens their very lives, Percy discovers only he can save them by... sleeping with them? He'll need old friends, new allies, and a whole lot of stamina to see this one through.

After saving the world a second time, Percy faces a fresh challenge more terrifying than any he's faced before: losing his virginity. He wants to give Annabeth the best first time ever, but how can he, when he's got no experience either? Luckily, the Aphrodite Cabin is here to save the day. "You want to learn how to have sex? We can teach you." Let the lessons begin!