Stories by Rumour of an Alchemist

The Heir of Gryffindor by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's January 1977 and the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry needs an urgent word with Lily Evans about the Heir of Gryffindor who has recently been discovered. Warning: PARODY (of 'Heir of Gryffindor' fanfictions.) Warning: Rated 'M' to be on the safe side on account of mention of economics. One-shot.
Experimental one-shot. Crossover. Soon after the events of 'The Simbul's Gift' Lauzoril, Zulkir of Enchantment, ends up in the Harry Potter universe, and Albus Dumbledore offers him the Defence job at Hogwarts for the 1995-1996 school year. Rated 'T'. Author Notes slightly extended 27th April, 2021.
Harry-took-Lasciel's-denarius-in-'Changes' Alternate Universe. One-shot. The summer after he rescued his daughter from the Red Court, Harry Dresden is on holiday in London. Alongside some sightseeing and shopping he's been asked to do something for Nicodemus. Rated 'T'. Typing error in process of being corrected October, 2022.

Gryffindor Horcrux by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. Sketch. Albus hears Severus Snape reporting back on why Severus was called away from the Hogwarts feast earlier in the evening of October 31st, 1981. Albus knows more than he's letting on however... Rated 'M' and identified as 'Horror' to be on the safe side. Minor corrections and Author Notes update: 2nd March, 2021.

Sixteen Years by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Homage to the 'Force Interrupt' series by 'Right What Is Wrong'. Parody. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side on account of risqué comments. One-shot. Takes place at 'Spinner's End' in 1996.

Rolling the Dice by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. Horace Slughorn decides to mention the horcruxes in 1975 but discovers a problem - that Albus Dumbledore is quite mad. Warning: Insane!Albus Dumbledore. Rating: 'T'

Mxzarvratigan by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. James Potter and Severus Snape to the rescue of a damsel in distress in a monstrous wizard's Caribbean lair. Ravenclaw James and Severus. Experimental one-shot. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side on account of swearing and implied gore. Author Notes updated 29th December, 2020.

The Marriage Lottery by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. PARODY. It's 1978, and several months back the Ministry of Magic passed a law forcing some witches and wizards to marry as soon as they turned eighteen. Lily Evans and James Potter missed the relevant announcements. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side on account of occasional swearing/bad language. Author notes slightly expanded 20th October, 2020.

As Though He Were Your Own by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. Following the death of his parents on 31st October, 1981, Harry Potter gets a slightly different upbringing from canon. Rated 'T' on account of reference to physical violence and bullying by ten year olds. One-shot.
Alternate Universe. One-shot. On Hallowe'en of 1970 Lord Voldemort made three wishes upon a monkey's paw, forcibly diverting the course of events. Warning: Character deaths. Rating: 'M' on account of non-explicit 'suggestive' references.
Alternate Universe. Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange were killed in the 1970's, and a girl with silver-blue hair ended up being born a generation earlier... A few rough sketches set in the summer and early autumn of 1991. One-shot. Rated 'T'.

Never Bring by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Short sketch. Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort are facing one another in a duel in 1997. Alternate Universe; slightly silly. This piece is rated 'T'.

More Sense than That by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Short sketch. It's 1995 and Cornelius Fudge wants to send a Ministry representative to teach at Hogwarts. He has called Albus Dumbledore in to discuss it with him. Possibly canon-compliant. Rated 'T'. Minor author notes tweak, 7th April, 2019.

Desperation by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Near drabble. Protagonist Narcissa Black, genre 'mystery', rating 'T'.

Magic in the Dungeons by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. During the Christmas holidays in 1995, some Slytherin fifth years are playing a card game to relax before dinner. Rated 'T'. Slightly fluffy piece. One-shot. Author notes expanded slightly 15th November, 2017.
AU. One-shot. Delphini is able to travel through time, and means to keep doing so, until she can ensure her father's victory. It's a shame for her that Nyarlathotep is watching... Rated: 'M'. Warning: HORROR. TRAGEDY. Major character death.

Alternate Scene by the Lake 4 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's 1976 and the scene by the lake after the fifth year defence OWLs but instead of trying to fight back with magic, Severus snaps his own wand and throws it at Lupin's feet, announcing he's quitting Hogwarts. Alternate Universe. Rating 'M'. December 12, 2017: minor revisions to epilogues & notes.

Alternate Scene by the Lake 6 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's the summer of 1976, and an alternate universe where a somewhat disgruntled James Potter is hanging out by the Hogwarts lake with his friends after the OWL defence exam. AU with different-from-canon background Severus Snape. Rated 'T'. One-shot. Minor clarification to notes added 6th December, 2016.

Dark of the Moon by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One Shot. Alternate Universe. Luna Lovegood was born a generation earlier, as the younger sister of Xenophilius Lovegood. Short piece set after the 1976 OWL defence exam by the lake. Rated 'T'. Author Notes expanded, 6th November, 2016.

Greasy Hair by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU. Near drabble. One-shot. Barty Crouch junior considers himself in urgent need of a new disguise, and Severus Snape has been 'volunteered' to assist. Unfortunately for Barty. Rating: T. Slight expansion of Author Notes, 10th October, 2016.

Credit Where Credit is Due by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Divergence point for a possible AU. January, 1996 - the Minister for Magic's office, and somebody wants a word with the Minister... Rating 'T'. Further small addition to Author Notes, 12th October, 2016.

Kaleidoscope by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. It's Hallowe'en, 1981, and aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom are on duty, 'minding' a particular Ministry of Magic employee. Rated 'M'. Mention of characters being injured.

The Price of Hufflepuff by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU. The Sorting Hat has an ongoing task left to it by the founders... unfortunately, as Lily Evans discovers to her cost. One-shot. Rating: M. Warning: This piece is identified as 'Parody'. Author Notes expanded slightly, 11th September, 2016.

A Different 'Truth' by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Near drabble. Albus Dumbledore gives Harry a different explanation from canon of why Professor Snape 'hates' Harry in the infirmary at the end of the 'Philosopher's Stone' school year. Rating K
WARNING: This piece is identified as 'Parody'. Albus Dumbledore has been forced to deliver Harry Potter's Hogwarts Letter himself, after the regular delivery owls simply looked hopelessly confused... Harry raised by someone other than the Dursleys. One-shot. Rating: 'T'

The Politics of Men and Beasts by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Concerning the part of the centaurs of the Forbidden Forest in the wider magical world. Complementary background material to 'Saint Potter'. Rated 'T' (for now). Opening Notes, Chapter 1, updated with clarification, 12th July 2014. August 30th, 2016, 'polished' version, chapter 4 posted. ON HIATUS.

Destiny Denied? by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Rough Sketch. Alternate Universe. At the age of seven, Lily had dreams about a future she found horrible. It's now the summer of 1976, and she really needs a word with 'Sev' about where he's going? Rated 'M' in case it ever turns out to be more than a one-shot. 12th August, 2016: Now a two-parter. 15th August, 2016: Author Notes, chapter 2, expanded.

Family Secrets by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Rough sketch. One-shot. It's 1989 and Regulus Black takes his eldest daughter to visit his brother. Rated 'M' on account of references to nudity and other Black family related business. Author Notes expanded 9th August, 2016.

Secrets of the Darkest Art by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One shot. Hermione Granger considered it a good idea, after reading 'Secrets of the Darkest Art', to get a better understanding of the enemy's tools... Warning! Horror. (Contains reference to a cold-blooded murder.) This story is rated 'T'. (Author Notes expanded 14th July, 2016, and 31st July, 2016.)

Patterns in Chaos by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

In November, 1981, Bellatrix decides to go looking for information about the Potters instead of going with 'the boys' to interrogate the Longbottoms. One-shot. Rated 'T'. Minor revisions to text for hopefully better reading, 20th August, 2016.

Doctor Who and the Boy from Cokeworth by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One shot. Somewhat frivolous piece. Hogwarts has a new astronomy teacher during the 1974-1975 school year.
Sophie Theresa Potter. Grandfather/guardian: Seamus Tombs. Parents: James and Selene Potter, deceased, purportedly in a gas-explosion, Hallowe'en 1981 - except it turns out that actually they were killed in a battle with dark wizards, that Sophie is a witch, and that one 'Albus Dumbledore' wants her at his school and isn't likely to take 'no' as an answer. Alternate Universe.

Proper Magic by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU. One-shot. Professor Severus Snape has been asked by one of his colleagues to have a word with new Slytherin first year, Harry 'Eldanis'. (Harry-was-adopted-by-someone-else background story.) This story is rated 'T' and is identified as 'Humor'. Minor update to Author Notes to acknowledge likely source of a phrase 11th April, 2016.

Freak by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Sketch. Lily Evans has a different family experience, prior to Hogwarts, from canon. One-shot. Rated 'T'. Warning: some readers may find this slightly dark.
Christmas, 1979, and James and Selene Potter have one of James' friends to visit. Supporting/background material to 'Saint Potter' alternate universe. Rated 'T'. May 3rd, 2016: minor revisions to wording of some chapters and expansion of Author Notes of first chapter.
Experimental piece - extracts from "Aquinas' Guide to Hogwarts". Supporting material for 'Saint Potter' universe. ON HIATUS.

Harry Potter and the Greengrass Connection by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

What if it turns out in October, 1986, whilst Harry is living with the Dursleys, that Harry is betrothed to a witch less than a year older than him called Daphne Greengrass? Cross-posted from another site. Rated T. March 5, 2016: On hiatus after chapter 7 (Harry's birthday, 1987, part 1), for now, bar corrections. Next update time unknown.

Algol Weasley and the Philosopher's Stone by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Short Sketch. Slightly frivolous. One-shot. The-Boy-Who-Lived believes the Philosopher's Stone is in danger, and wants Algol's help. Rating currently K . (minor revisions to text, 26th January, 2016)

Her Serene Highness by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Zelena Motachi is condemned to the tedious life of a modern day eleven year old princess, when one day an owl acting in an odd fashion turns up outside the window... One-shot. Alternate Universe. Rated 'T'.
Alternate Universe. Short sketch. One-shot. 'Boy Who Lived' Neville Longbottom on his way to Hogwarts for the first time, on board the Hogwarts Express, in September 1991. Rated 'K '. 22nd April 2019: Necessary minor spelling fix carried out (thanks ExcessivelyPerky for highlighting it). Please ignore any 'update' alert if story has been read before.

The Practical Joker by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One shot. Peter Pettigrew reads about his own demise in a newspaper. Slightly frivolous piece. Rated 'T'.
Alternate Universe. Short sketch. One-shot. Harry and his cousin and their new acquaintance, Ron, are on their way to Hogwarts, when someone stops by their compartment. Rated 'T' on account of some of the underlying background.

What if? by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Severus Snape in a universe where James and Lily Potter's child was a daughter, not a son, but who was still the Dark Lord's target on Hallowe'en 1981. Author Notes expanded 11th May, 2015. Slightly expanded/'polished' version of 1992-1993 school year posted 20th May, 2015. STORY ON HIATUS.

New Lessons by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Harry's thoughts on classes this school year in two of the subjects that he's taking, as Christmas 1995 approaches. Brief sketch. One-shot. Rated 'T'.

Taking Umbridge by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate universe. It's September 1995 and someone who's apparently a representative of the Ministry of Magic is the defence teacher at Hogwarts this school year... Warning: HORROR. This story is rated 'T'.

Fulcrum by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate Universe. Short piece on how a slightly different sorting in 1991 might have come to happen.

The Other Evans Sister by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Petunia, not Lily, was the muggle-born witch in the Evans family. Lily was just the 'other' Evans sister. Now it's November, 1981, Petunia is dead, and Albus Dumbledore has decided that Dudley Potter is best with his muggle aunt. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side. One-shot. Some characters have diverged from canon.

Spies by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Takes place in a near-canon universe during the latter part of 1995. Slightly frivolous piece, but character death in one place. This story is rated 'M' and is tagged as 'humor' and as 'tragedy. Some minor rewording and slight expansion of Author Notes carried out on 12th January, 2015.

Son of a Sphinx by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe, in which Severus Snape's father was a soldier. Rated 'T'. Short piece. One-shot.

Earthly Possessions by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe in which Lily had a boy (Harry) and a girl (Angelica) in July, 1980. One-shot. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side. Author Notes updated 4th January, 2015.

Survivors by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. One-shot. Lily Evans disappeared in the summer of 1976. Somehow James has to go on... Rated 'M' to be on the safe side.

Divergence by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Albus Dumbledore found the Chamber of Secrets and killed the basilisk in 1984. Ginny Weasley arrives at Hogwarts in the possession of a certain diary in 1992... One-shot. Rated 'T'.

Alternate Scene in the Robes Shop 3 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Near drabble. One-shot. Alternate Universe. Harry's visit to Madam Malkin's in 1991 takes an unexpected turn. This story is rated 'T' to be on the safe side.
After a stand-in teacher gets stuck to the classroom ceiling, events get rather confusing for Harry Black. Alternate Universe in which there was no James Potter. Slightly frivolous piece. One-shot. Rated 'K '.

Traitor by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate universe. Rough sketch posted in the hope of inspiring someone else. Sirius Black goes after the man who was the Potters' secret keeper, believing him to have been the one who betrayed the Potters. This story is rated 'T'. Warning: Tragedy.

In the Headlines by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Slightly silly alternate universe piece. The front page article of a magical newspaper from one day in early 1982. Over-zealous Albus Dumbledore featured. One-shot. Rated 'T'.

Her Prince by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One shot. Alternate universe, where nine year old Bellatrix Black was determined to marry a prince... Rated 'T'. 27th September, 2014: Minor formatting error corrected, and Author Notes expanded slightly.

Alternative Interpretation by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Slightly silly in places one-shot, but character deaths. Features principally Lily Evans/Potter *and* Lily Evans/Potter! (Here there be mention of alternate universes!) Rated 'M' to be on safe side. January 7th, 2015, minor grammatical ammendments to Author Notes.

Initial Impact by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter'. Additional material regarding some of those affected or involved in the immediate wake of events at Hogwarts on the first of September, 1991. Perspectives (eventually) of various characters. Warning! Characters who have diverged from canon. ON HIATUS.

Fudge by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Cornelius Fudge is Minister for Magic - an at times highly uncomfortable position. Alternate universe. Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter' Rated 'T'.

Discomposed by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One Shot. Alternate Universe. One evening in July 1991 Albus Dumbledore receives some rather alarming news, and he sends for Severus, at dawn, the next morning, with an urgent errand for him. Rated 'T'.
Alternate Universe. Technically supporting material for 'Saint Potter'. Severus Snape's upbringing and Hogwarts days. Warning! Non-canon events and characters who diverge from their canon counterparts. ON HIATUS.

After the Sorting by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter'. Ronald Bilius Weasley was offered a place in a Hogwarts house but told the Sorting Hat that he just wanted to go home, and now he has to face his family. Warning! Characters who have diverged from canon. ON HIATUS.

The Speed of Midnight by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The speed of midnight matters where prophecies and destinies are concerned. Near drabble length idea that ended up petering out. Assumed AU. One shot.

Slughorn by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

'Being the exciting life and adventures (or at least the grind of day to day travails) of the head of Slytherin house and senior potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' This story is supporting/background material to 'Saint Potter' alternate universe. Rated 'M'. Minor corrections, 21st February, 2022. HIATUS.

Grand Finale by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate Universe. The day of the first task of the Triwizard Tournament has arrived, and the crowd wait for Harry Potter. Warning: Tragedy! Rated 'T'.

The Flaw in the Plan 3 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Yet another one-shot in my series which look at various ways in which the climax of the 1997-1998 Hogwarts year might have gone off the rails in alternate universes. This near-drabble features Harry getting some very bad news when he tries to discover where the last horcrux is hidden...

Dark Lady by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Potentially slightly silly, slightly creepy, one-shot. Lord Voldemort's attack of Hallowe'en, 1981, winds up with a somewhat different result from canon. Rated 'T'.

Asked For It by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. Warning! 'M' rated. Warning! This is a borderline silly story, but some readers may find aspects of it horrific/perturbing. This story is tagged as 'Parody' and as 'Horror'.

Breaking by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. One-shot. James Potter is in The Hog's Head, hoping that if he drinks enough fire whisky, maybe the sun won't come up the next morning. (James wasn't the Marauder who got the girl.) Rated 'M' just in case.

Little Teddy by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-Shot for now. Both Theodore Nott's parents were Death Eaters; his father died in the war. Soon it will be Theodore's turn to go to Hogwarts, to join his older brother, Terence. Does Theodore actually want to be in Slytherin house with his annoying older brother? Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter' story. Rated 'M' to be on safe side for swear-words.

Things Not Said by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. There are things that Draco Malfoy's father has been keeping from him and Draco's sister... Rating: 'T'. One-shot. Author Notes expanded 22nd June, 2014.

Under the Stairs by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Short silly piece. One-shot. The Dursley family have a dark and terrible secret under the stairs of their house in Privet Drive.

Undiplomatic Incident by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Drabble. Rubeus Hagrid spectacularly put his foot in his mouth. A first year Draco Malfoy is impressed. Rated 'T'.
Alternate Universe. One-shot. It's September the first, 1991, and Harry Longbottom is hoping to get some urgently needed reading done in quiet, when someone drops by... Rated K .

Broken Wand by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Near drabble. A moment where perhaps canon could have gone in a different direction. One-shot.

The New Defence Teacher by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The heads of house meet to discuss the latest defence teacher with the headmaster towards the end of the autumn term of the 1995-1996 school year. Slightly silly story. One-shot. Alternate Universe! Rated 'T'.

Minutes of the Meeting by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Jamie MacDonald is the head of Hogsmeade village council. A look at some of the doings of the council at a meeting in the summer of 1991. Saint Potter alternate universe. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side on account of occasional strong language. February 15th - Author Notes expanded.

Political Realities by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate Universe. Somewhat dry piece. In the wake of the third task of the Triwizard Tournament Albus Dumbledore explains to Harry why the previous night he silenced him as soon as he started going on about Voldemort. Warning! Long monologue! June, 2014, minor revisions to try and ease the 'wall of text' effect.
A counterpart story to 'The Tale of the Three Brothers' with an 'Arabian Nights' flavour. Rated 'T'. One-shot. Minor text revision, 24th December, 2013.

Angel of Death by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. As the Wizarding War draws to a close, a graduate of an Istanbul school with her own agenda intervenes in the course of events. Rated 'M'. Warning: Character Death! (Author notes expanded slightly, March, 2014.)

Bookworm by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. Within weeks of arriving at Hogwarts, young witch Hermione Granger discovers something fascinating on the shelves of the library, which rapidly becomes an overwhelming obsession. Series of (perhaps a touch nebulous) glimpses of her first three years. Rated 'T'. Minor revisions, December 2013.

Luna Lovegood and the Chamber of Secrets by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Slightly silly one-shot. Alternate Universe. In a different reality, the events of the equivalent 1992-1993 Hogwarts school year play somewhat differently to canon. Revised to correct minor typing/punctuation errors, 20th April, 2014.

What Barty Did by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. What Barty Crouch junior did in the wake of the fall of Voldemort in 1981. (Involves impersonation and kidnapping, of course.) Rated 'T'.

Legacy by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Eileen Snape receives a mysterious summons to Nurmengard in the late spring of 1971, which will turn the Snape family fortunes upside-down. Alternate universe. One-shot. Rated 'T' to be on the safe side. Minor rewording in places, July, 2014.

Worthy to be Named by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The last hour or so of the Triwizard Tournament in an alternate universe where Fleur Delacour proves more resilient than her canon counterpart. One-shot. Rated 'M' just in case. Minor corrections to text, 8th March, 2021.

One Witch and her Elf by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Hermione Granger returns home at the end of her fifth year at Hogwarts to find something unexpected waiting for her. Mildly alternate universe. One-shot.

Point of Principle by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. Short piece of silliness concerning Salazar Slytherin. One shot. Tagged as 'humor' since there was no 'generally silly' option available. Rated 'T' to be on the safe side.

The Flaw in the Plan 2 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Slightly silly (and sad in places) one-shot. An alternate universe where it turned out that Xenophilius Lovegood had something literally right. If only Harry had paid attention properly... Warning! Character death. Rated 'M' to be on the safe side.

Sorting Night by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. The reaction of an alternate universe's Severus Snape on the night in 1991 when one Harry James Potter is sorted into Slytherin. Rated 'M' for language in places.

Anything by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot set in an alternate-universe where Lord Voldemort took that 'I'll do anything' as a magically binding offer too tempting to pass over... Rated 'M' (to be on the safe side). Warning! Unpleasant things implied in places.

Triwizard Muddle by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Alternate universe. Humour. Voldemort's agent at Hogwarts was far more successful in confusing the Goblet of Fire than he had intended. Glimpses of the Triwizard Tournament between the moment Harry Potter's name is announced as the Champion for Durmstrang and the end of the first task.

Vault 21C by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. It's 1976 and the goblins of Gringotts have held a large mysterious device in a vault for centuries, ever since Salazar Slytherin and his ally Tsar Berendey sent it to them. ON HIATUS.

Castellan by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The job title is 'Hogwarts caretaker', but for Severus Snape, the job involves so much more than that. Alternate universe. Supplemental material to 'Saint Potter'. Characters and situations that have diverged from canon. (Author Notes added, 17th June, 2013) ON HIATUS.

Constant Vigilance! by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A fluffy, slightly silly, one-shot set in an alternate universe where Alastor Moody replaces Albus Dumbledore as Hogwarts headmaster as school winds down for the summer holidays in 1975. A couple of scenes of that, and then from the 1975-1976 Hogwarts school year. Warning! Characters not necessarily adherent to canon. Rated M, to be on safe side, for occasional pithy language.

The Exigencies of War by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. James and Harry are dead, but Lily's former headmaster wants to ask something of her... Warning! Highly manipulative 'for the greater good' Albus Dumbledore. Warning! Tragedy. Rated 'M'.
Warning! Silly, fluffy, Alternate Universe, one-shot. It's September the first, 1991, and Hermione Granger is sitting alone in a compartment on her first trip to Hogwarts, trying to read, when people start to drop by...

Alternate Scene in the Robes Shop 2 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Draco Potter is the Boy-Who-Lived and is shopping in Diagon Alley for his school supplies before he starts at Hogwarts. Warning! Silly one-shot based in alternate universe with knock-on effects from non canon arranged marriage pairings. Minor spelling/typo corrections, mid-April 2013/December 2013.

In Pursuit of Princes by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Lucius Malfoy, a loyal servant of he Dark Lord, makes a report to Lord Voldemort, concerning recent events at Hogwarts. One-shot. Supplemental material to 'Alternate Scene by the Lake 4'. Author Notes expanded slightly, August 11, 2013.

Figwood and giant flytrap spine by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe where Voldemort simply inexplicably disappears on Hallowe'en 1981, as far as wizarding Britain knows, without going anywhere near the Potters or Longbottoms. Updates only occasional, but story not abandoned. Canon going out the window. Punctuation amended November, 2014. ON HIATUS.

Unforgiveable (Harry) by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Warning! Parody and sillyness! 'UH' is a hardbitten chain-smoking super!harry who jumps dimensions to solve other realities' 'Voldemort problems' for them to amuse himself. Has he finally met his match? One-shot.

The Open Window by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Several days after Harry Potter's first birthday, tragedy strikes in August of 1981. One-shot which diverges from canon during the story. Warning! Character death! Warning! This story is identified as 'Tragedy'.

Paradigm Shift by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot, near-drabble. Tom Marvolo Riddle discovers something in a muggle library during one summer holiday in the 1940's that changes his plans for the future - the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Slightly expanded Author Notes (5th February 2013, UK time).

Meeting Lily's Son by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. How Harry Potter's pre-Hogwarts experience in July of 1991 might have gone in an alternate universe where Professor Horace Slughorn wanted to personally deliver the Hogwarts letter of Lily's son. Slytherin!Slughorn.

Safe as Houses? by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. In an alternate universe with a 'Girl-Who-Lived' things took a sinister turn in the graveyard in Little Hangleton in 1995 at the end of the triwizard tournament. Sirius Black and some unlikely(?) allies try to pick up the pieces. WARNING! 'M' rated, Horror, hurt/comfort. Evil!Voldemort implied.

The Dark Lord's Right Hand 4 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-Shot. It's February 1978 in an alternate universe and the extent of the damage a lieutenant Voldemort has infiltrated into Hogwarts is just starting to become clear to Albus Dumbledore... Warning! HORROR. Tragedy. Fallen!Marauder. 'M' rated.

In the Shadow of Three Bolts: Letters by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Some of the written exchanges which occured during the spring of 1991, concerning where pupils would be studying in the coming September. May not make so much sense to those not familiar with my 'Shadow of Three Bolts' alternate universe.

Acting Professionally by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A world-weary and shattered Professor Snape, in the wake of the events of Hallowe'en, 1981, wants nothing more than to try to get on with being the best teacher (by his lights) that he can. A series of short sketches of scenes in the headmaster's office. Alternate Universe. One-shot.

All Too Human Weakness by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

During the confrontation in the Shrieking Shack in 1994, Peter Pettigrew insists he never betrayed the Potters, and events take a different turn from canon. Alternate Universe. One-shot posted for the Christmas holiday 2012. Some characters differ from their canon counterparts. Punctuation amended November, 2014.

Keeping it Simple by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Severus Snape has something to say about the plan Albus Dumbledore's portrait outlines for evacuating Harry Potter from Privet Drive in 1997... One-shot. Diverges from canon.

Asking for Trouble by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Sirius Black wonders if it was such a good idea to have children after all, after he hears who his eldest son, Harry, has invited to his eleventh birthday party. Alternate Universe. One-shot. Minor corrections, March 2013.

Sorting things out? by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's 1998, and Tom Marvolo Riddle has apparently won, so the Sorting Hat decides to travel back in time and *try* to do something about that. Alternate Universe results. Manipulative! Sorting Hat. One-off piece. Humour/Tragedy, rated 'M' for occasional swear-words or strong language. (Punctuation corrections, 9th March, 2014)

The Flaw in the Plan by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot. Rose Potter, The-Girl-Who-Lived, heads into the Forbidden Forest in 1998 to face Voldemort and her destiny. The problem is it turns out that Voldemort has a different idea of what it is to what she thought. Warning: Evil!Voldemort. Horror. Tragedy.

Letter from a Son to his Mother by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe. Harry Potter discovered he had to die in 1996, when Professor Snape abducted him to try and keep him alive. Harry escaped Professor Snape and decided to take matters into his own hands. Warning: Character death.

Gearing Up by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's the morning of September the first, 1991, and Professor Filius Flitwick has been summoned to the headmaster's office for a discussion of some of this year's pupils... Teaser piece, presenting background material for my 'Saint Potter' crossover story. Alternate Universe. Reference to non-canonical canon characters. April, '14:Revision to ch. 4 based on change in castle layout.

House of Weasley by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. It's September the first, 1991, and on board the Hogwarts Express, Draco Malfoy has run into the latest example of the fiendish cunning of the Weasley family. One-shot.

The Most Dangerous Subject of them all by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Maybe Professor Cuthbert Binns has a reason for putting classes to sleep... One-shot. Near drabble.

Lady Potter by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Something stirred in the graveyard of Godric's Hollow in early November, 1981... Alternate universe. Standalone piece posted for Hallowe'en.

Out of Sorts by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's 1st September 1971 and the deputy headmistress has broken a promise to the Sorting Hat, with consequences for the forthcoming sorting... 'Seed-point' of an AU. Warning! Canon characters mercilessly judged and sorted into non-canon houses. (Punctuation mistakes cleaned up, 9th March, 2014)
Luna Lovegood tries to convince a sceptical Ron and Hermione that the world could be in danger from a dark-haired girl with green eyes... Alternate Universe. Very minor revisions, 18th October, 2013.

Unplanned Sabbatical by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Albus Dumbledore wakes up to discover his wand appears to be missing and that something's happened to his bed... Slightly silly story. One-shot.

Alternate Scene in the Robes Shop by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

How the scene in Madam Malkins on Harry's birthday in 1991 might have played out if the appearance of Hagrid at the window got Draco thinking... One-shot. Very minor tidying, March 2013.

How (de) Winter came to Hogwarts by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. How Genevieve de Winter came to be at Hogwarts in September of 1991. Supplemental material for 'Saint Potter'. Characters and events which have diverged from canon.

Hour of the Malfoys by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Eighteen months before the end of the first Wizarding War, Lucius Malfoy gains considerably foreknowledge of how the future 'could' play out. The question is as to how to take advantage of it? One-shot. Punctuation amended November, 2014.

Reading the Future by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's mid-October, 1981, and Alastor Moody has been assigned the task of interviewing Lily Potter about events leading up to a recent domestic incident. A set of seven books whose titles feature her son's name seem to have been involved... One-shot. Parody of 'Harry Potter characters reading the Rowling books' genre. Tragedy. Let me repeat, Tragedy.

Sorting Miss Potter by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter'. One-shot (and could be considered a 'teaser' piece). A glimpse into the thoughts of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat as it prepares to sort Sophie Theresa Potter on the 1st of September, 1991. Warning! Characters who have diverged from canon. Minor corrections, December 2013.

Voldemort Reborn by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's September 1993, and Lord Voldemort arrives (back) at Hogwarts to be sorted, and reflects upon her life since being reborn. Alternate Universe. Short sketch, intended to be vaguely humorous. One-shot. (typing error correction, 5th September, 2014)

Official Inquiry by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Tragedy. A visitor to Privet Drive in September of 1991 has Petunia reflecting on her relationship with more 'freakish' relatives. (minor corrections, 18th March, 2015)

Talking to Snakes by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

In an alternate universe where there was no wizarding war and his mother was a pure-blood witch, Harry James Potter discovers he is one of the not uncommon children able to talk to snakes, but why does that make his father so sad?

Delivery Boy by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Experimental one-shot. Alternate Universe. Filius Flitwick is asked to deliver the Hogwarts letter of Harry Potter who doesn't appear to be in the orphanage where Albus Dumbledore left him back in November 1991, but at an unplottable location somewhere in the Mediterranean. Characters and events which diverge from canon. Minor corrections March 2013.

Unforeseen Consequences by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Electrical devices and powerful magic don't really mix too well. Albus Dumbledore should have known better that night in November 1981 when he visited Privet Drive... One-shot. Alternate Universe. (Minor typing errors corrected 9th March, 2014)

Rocked by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate universe where a Harry Potter with no confidence or self-esteem arrives at Hogwarts in 1991. Highlights of some of the key moments of the autumn term of 1991. Characters and events which diverge from canon. Punctuation corrections, 2nd October, 2014.

Ordinary Decent Folk by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Vernon and Petunia Dursley accepted Harry into their family in November 1981. Now Harry is ten years old and facing an intrusion into his life from the magical world.

The Dark Lord's Right Hand 3 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-Shot, providing a glimpse into an alternate universe; this one, one in which Lily Potter is dragged on the night of Hallowe'en, 1981, before the Dark Lord by his highest ranked lieutenant. Warning! Non-canon canon character.

The Dark Lord's Right Hand 2 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-Shot, providing a glimpse into an alternate universe; this time one in which Severus Snape's demise at the claws of a werewolf led to a darker future... Warning! Non-canon canon character. Piece takes form of monologue/internal reflections.

Rock Cakes by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

In an alternate universe, Hogwarts' half-giant groundskeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, is determined to use old, dark, magic to rescue one of his favourite pupils from a horrible fate. One-shot. Warning: Horror!

Late Night Interview at Malfoy Manor by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's November, 1981, and a mother has come to plead with Mrs. Malfoy on behalf of her son, herself, and her sister. Alternate Universe. Let me repeat that: Alternate Universe. Characters diverge from canon. Experimental one-shot.

Weasley, Not Black by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Supplementary material to 'Saint Potter'. A glimpse into the life of Narcissa Malfoy and her family, and a look at the morning Narcissa takes her son to catch his first Hogwarts Express from platform nine-and-three-quarters. Warning! Characters who have diverged from canon. Author Notes slightly expanded Jaunary, 2013.

Man for the Job by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-Shot. A brief scene supplemental to 'Alternate Scene by the Lake 4', regarding Mundungus Fletcher. Warning! Characters diverging from canon.

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. It's September 1991, Hogwarts has recently come under new management, and the headmaster intends to carry out the sorting of the new first years in person. One-shot. Non-canon magical being. Minor tidying of some sentences, March 2013.

Unexpected Windfall by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's the day before the school year starts, and having crossed the wrong man, the Hogwarts headmaster suddenly discovers he has a staffing problem... ON HIATUS.

The Weasley Who Lived by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A glimpse into the life of a boy 'born as the fourth month blossoms, to parents though pure but poor', orphanned on Hallowe'en in 1981 by Lord Voldemort. Alternate Universe - different prophecy . One Shot. Maybe it'll inspire someone else.

Coming, Ready or Not by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A look at Neville Longbottom on the morning of September the first, 1991, as he steels himself before setting out for the Hogwarts Express. Teaser piece, presenting background material for my 'Saint Potter' crossover story. Alternate Universe. Reference to non-canonical canon characters and events.

The Best Laid Plans by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Albus Dumbledore sees his designs unravel in an alternate universe where Lily Potter was left in a coma by the events of Hallowe'en 1981 and Horace Slughorn acquires custody of Harry Potter. One-shot.

Tom by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-shot for now due to other ongoing projects. Tom Marvolo Riddle's diary is discovered by a pupil at Hogwarts in 1972, and the 'Tom' of the diary struggles to comprehend what's going on in the wizarding world... Minor revisions for hopefully better reading, 27th April, 2014.

Old Magic by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A war-weary Albus Dumbledore considers that events in Godric's Hollow on the night of Hallowe'en 1981 require a drastic gamble by himself in response. Alternate universe and one-shot. Slightly fluffy piece. Some Minerva, Severus and at least one other canon character too.

The Dark Lord's Right Hand by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-Shot, providing a couple of glimpses into an alternate universe where Sirius Black willingly became one of Voldemort's most important allies.

Alternate Scene by the Lake 5 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The scene after the 1976 fifth year OWL exam, where in canon Lily and Severus break apart, is interrupted by the advent of a teacher upon the scene, and he's not happy... Alternate Universe. One-shot. Minor corrections, March, 2013.

In the Shadow of Three Bolts: In Memoriam by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Lily Snape visits her first husband's grave on the anniversary of his death. Uncanon canon characters.
An alternate universe where the worlds of Harry Potter and of secret global conspiracies collide. Parody! Rated T just to be on the safe side. Minor correction, June, 2021.

Kissing in Front of the Snorkacks by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

In an alternate universe the Sorting Hat said Slytherin in 1971 one more time than in canon, and four and a bit years down the line the Marauders are still trying to cope with the consequences... Not terribly serious one-shot.

Reign of the Marauders by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. One-Shot. Supplemental material to 'Alternate Scene by the Lake 4'. Severus Snape has left Hogwarts, and in the wake of his departure the Marauders and events are getting out of control. Warning! Characters diverging from canon. Minor corrections made, January 2017.

Harry Potter and the Universe too Far by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Parody. Some horror. Universe-jumping, time-travelling Harry Potter, in search of an ever faster personal best time to defeat Voldemort, ends up out of his depth... Warning! Rated M. Multiple character deaths. ON HIATUS.

Lily's Choice by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

What if standing in front of Voldemort and a possible killing curse wasn't just a question about Lily's own life being on the line? Alternate Universe. One-shot.
Alternate Universe, where the mythos lurks in the background, and Vernon Dursley is off to Baghdad on an errand for his sister-in-law. Uncanon canon characters.

The Girl Next Door by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Tracy Eagle lives next door to the Snape family, and is best-friends with their son, Severus. Then a redhead comes on the scene and he gets a letter from that 'Hogwarts' place... Alternate Universe. Some canon characters will diverge from canon.

Unusual ambition by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

In an alternate universe eleven year old Severus Snape actually did some proper research on the Hogwarts houses before the start of the school year and made an alarming discovery. One Shot.

The Luck Runs Out by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

One-shot. Albus Dumbledore's plans for Harry's first year at Hogwarts all go tragically wrong. Alternate universe. Character death.

Hermione's Bad Day by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. (Shadow of Three Bolts.) Hermione Granger's trip to Hogwarts doesn't go according to plan in a universe where Lily Potter survived but Harry isn't going to Hogwarts... One Shot. Minor spelling/grammar corrections, January 2014.

Reaping the Whirlwind by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Alternate Universe. Harry Potter pushed Severus Snape too far, and has to pay the price during his hunt for the horcruxes. Set at some point during the period covered by Book 7 of canon, but with very different events. Warning! Character death, TRAGEDY. Author notes extensively revised February, 2013. (10th Feb - hopefully now for the last time, sorry about any alerts triggered)

Safer That Way by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Albus Dumbledore is a headmaster, not a politician, so 'of course' he can't be 'evil'... Warning! Parody. He's-not-a-politician-so-he-can't-be-evil! Dumbledore. Alternate Universe. One-shot.

Asylum by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's 1981 and Voldemort has fallen in his attempt to kill Neville Longbottom. Antonin Dolohov takes Severus Snape to a facility he believes holds the key to rebuilding for the future. Alternate Universe. Warning: Horror. Non-canon pairing.

Three Wishes by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

After Ron rubs a battered old oil-lamp whilst cleaning in the Burrow, 'Doge Fran Gedre' offers Ron Weasley three wishes. One-shot. Near-drabble. Weasley family silliness.

Alternate Scene by the Lake 3 by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

The scene after the 1976 fifth year OWL exam, where in canon Lily and Severus break apart, instead plays out with Lily turning on the Marauders over the way she and they have been treating Severus. Alternate Universe. Probably a one-shot. Minor corrections made and Author Notes revised, March, 2013.

Lily Says No by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Lily Potter walks out on James after a row with him about the secret keeper the day before Hallowe'en 1981. One-shot. Alternate universe. Rated M to be on the safe side for implied messy death.
What if the scene after the fifth year OWL exam, where in canon Lily and Severus break apart, is interrupted by the advent of a Lovecraftian horror - a symptom that all is not well at Hogwarts? Alternate Universe. Warning! Messy character death. Minor corrections made March 2013.

Voldemort Triumphant? by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

Parody. Voldemort travels back in time to attempt to 'fix what went wrong' and to ensure his final victory. Warning! Evil!Voldemort, prepared to use killing curses, corrupt the innocent, and do other unpleasant things as necessary. Minor spelling correction, November 2014.

Alternate Scene by the Lake by Rumour of an Alchemist Stale Result (Last seen: )

A visitor from the future intrudes upon the scene by the lake after the fifth year defence OWL in 1976. Rated M to be on the safe side for a couple of swear-words. One-shot.