Stories by The Divine Comedian

Bistable by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

"Looks like you left quite the impression," Remus says. "Eight centuries of family history and your mother just – what? Burns a hole in it?" - "Ah, but you have to understand where she was coming from," Sirius says. "I made her do it. So it's my fault." Grimmauld Place at the beginning of OotP.

Sabotage by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Why can't I just hate this, Regulus thinks, this house, this family, like Sirius did. If there is one thing he begrudges his brother, it's the simplicity of his feelings, the way Sirius could say, no, no more, and leave. But Regulus, he can't properly hate any of this, it would be like hating the air he breathes, or the ground he walks on. What he feels is far more complicated.

Styx by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Regulus thought he knew all the horrors of Grimmauld Place, but on this stifling hot summer night in 1976, the house seems hell-bent on terrorising him in new and interesting ways. It's all Sirius's fault, of course.
DLP 4.62

Blackpool by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

COMPLETE. When Regulus is five, he nearly drowns in the sea off Blackpool. When Regulus is eleven, his brother befriends a ghost. It's not until Regulus is eighteen and ready to die that the Black family's darkest secret finally unravels. It might, perhaps, change everything. (A coming-of-age story with mind magic, star charting, pink petit-fours, two diaries, and a ghost.)

Still Life with Skull by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

COMPLETE. September 1974 and Remus goes a bit loopy, what with the moon, and the teenage wolf, and his friends who are not Animagi yet, and the creepy dead thing that is following him around. Sirius had a horrible summer, too. (MWPP 4th year, Gen)

The Age of Lies by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

January 1981. Sirius is a paranoiac, Peter is not a psychopath, James is a dad, Remus is super angry, and Regulus… Regulus is alive. No-one is more surprised than him. AU, sort of fix-it, but dark enough. Sirius/Remus, too (mostly in the past).

Not By Force by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Sirius is captured by Voldemort, and his Occlumency falls like France in the war. Lily and James are trapped inside the Fidelius, Remus is running from the law, and everyone's running out of time... Maybe Peter should have been Secret Keeper, after all. (AU, fix-it gone extremely wrong)

Pot, Kettle, Black by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

In 1978, Sirius Black almost becomes an Auror - turns out even he can't fake his way through the mental health assessment. So what. He has better things to do. Little does Sirius know that running from himself will send him on a collision course with his ephemeral brother, but life is funny that way.

They're Hiding Inside Me by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

It's the summer after fifth year, and Sirius has made himself scarce as usual. But then Remus catches a glimpse of him in Witch Weekly's special on the Black-Malfoy wedding. Something about that photo is very, very off… Turns out this is the summer Sirius runs away. Or tries to. Because the Blacks are not giving up on their heir without a fight. (Light Remus/Sirius.)

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

It is the eve of the second wizarding war and all Remus wants is a quiet smoke in the garden. He doesn't want to think, he doesn't want to talk, and above all, he doesn't want to remember. Enter Hermione.

The things that lurk in the dark by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

MWPP era, sixth year. There's something terrifying in the dungeons, and don't they wish they hadn't disturbed it... After two days of Sirius taking his terrible mood out on everyone, Remus reckons someone should probably go talk to him about the things that lurk in the dark. Warnings inside.

Let it choke by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Remus knew what he was supposed to do: Keep his distance. Reassure Susan that running from the Boggart was perfectly fine. Have her write "I will not skip class" five hundred times, then send her on her way, ensuring that whatever issues she had would be dealt with in the proud tradition of the wizarding world: through avoidance and denial. Except he knew where that path lead.

Calibration by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Remus's mind is usually a tidy place. The worst has already happened, what's left to be scared of? His fears are labelled, annotated, and most of all, archived. For one evening, though, he'll have to let them come out and play. (Remus trains the Boggart for his lesson with the third years. Featuring Severus Snape as an unwanted critic, and Sirius Black as the elephant in the room.)

How to be happy by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

The Patronus charm requires a happy memory. Harry Potter doesn't have many. Boom, third year AU. If he still wants to save the wizarding world, he needs to recover from his greatest failure. How?
For someone trying to use their gift as little as possible, the gift sure has a way of clobbering Kanan over the head from time to time. Especially lately. Hera bets it means something. (Spoiler: it does. This is the story of how the Ghost crew found Sabine.)
Sabine has been with the Spectres for a month. Still devastated from her best friend's betrayal, she's struggling to find her place in the crew. But in the aftermath of a botched operation, it turns out she has more in common with Kanan than either of them thought. Space family angst with some resolve.
On Yavin IV, underneath the cloud of debris that was once the Death Star, some stories end while others begin. Hera Syndulla discovers a glimpse of something terrible in a recording from the recent battle, but she needs more data. The Princess of Alderaan and her new-found friends are an unexpected help.

The Breach by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Hermione kept calling it the zombie apocalypse. Harry, whose introduction to muggle horror films had started and ended with fighting Dudley over the TV remote, wasn't sure if they should be called zombies, but thought "apocalypse" was an apt description. 6th year AU, in which Lord Voldemort actually got around to raising his army of Inferi.

Two Things by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry is only four years old and the Dursleys are already mean.
Usually the kids stick together. For one of them to tell on the other, it has to be something really trivial - or really, really terrible. Kanan and Sabine talk. Takes place during S03E1 Steps Into Shadow, spoilers up until then.

We Would All Be Happier by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Petunia has found the perfect not-weird marriage. And she does not want to raise the child she found on her doorstep. So Petunia, self-described anti-adventurer, takes little Harry on a long and bothersome drive in order to find Albus Dumbledore. But what good is a Volvo against the course of fate?

Zehn neue Freizeitideen by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

...Für Sie und Ihre willenlose menschliche Marionette. London im Frühjahr 1980. Emmeline und Lily wollten eigentlich nur schnell einen Kaffee trinken. Später passieren ganz schreckliche Dinge. Angst, eine nerdige Arithmantikerin, ein bisschen Femslash.

Coffee To Go by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Lily verlebt sehr betuliche Ferien. Dann bekommt sie Besuch, und zu ihrer großen Zerknirschung ändert sich an der Betulichkeit nicht viel. Außer manches.

Yoko Ono by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Sommer. Lily fühlt sich umzingelt von hellblau gestrichenen Kinderzimmern, quietschgelben Gummienten und Einweckgläsern mit Bügelverschluss und sie würde sterben für eine Zigarette, nur eigentlich nicht wirklich. Give peace a chance.

Liliacea by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Lily and the others are searching for mind expansion, a certain founder isn't as dead as she ought to be, and just about everyone has to suffer at some point... R for violence, suicide, self abuse. Contains femslash.

Liliacea, German version by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Die Siebziger: die Zahl der Menschen mit den schwarzen Kutten und der zweifelhaften Ideologie steigt, Voldemort ist auf dem Weg zur Macht. Na, dann werdet mal erwachsen.

Was niemand wirklich wissen wollte by The Divine Comedian Stale Result (Last seen: )

Ähm. Eine neue Schülerin kommt nach Hogwarts und versucht gar nicht erst, ihr MarySueSein zu verbergen, Snape küsst die neue DADALehrerin und auch Draco hat eine mysteriöse Wandlung durchgemacht...