Stories by Andrew Joshua Talon

Blake tells the truth about Adam Taurus and how terrible he was. The rest of RWBY is... Confused. One-Shot, Comedy.
The team leaders of Beacon had their own class, where they work on improving their non-combat skills to make their teams the best. No matter how hard the teams or world makes that job... Somebody's gotta do it. Comedy, Slice of Life, Pairings undecided.
Jaune Arc was able to get his friends and a few others to his hometown after the Fall of Beacon. Everyone has a long road to recovery, but maybe hearth and home can help... And then they get justice. AU Post Volume 3.
Plot bunnies and ideas for RWBY fics from a newcomer to the fandom. Take for your own, or just be inspired.
A series of one-shots where Jaune Arc is childhood friends with various characters in RWBY. Some silly, some funny, some tragic.
Jaune's lineage has been an issue for a long time, an annoyance. He doesn't want to be King... But as the saying goes, "Great men do not seek power. They have power thrust upon them."
When the ladies of RWBY end up stranded with Jaune Arc, they have to keep the Grimm from closing on them. The only way to do that is to generate a lot of positive emotions. And there's one sure fire way to accomplish that: Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Lemons, Anthology, Please review.
Jaune Arc getting into Beacon caused quite a stir among his family. So a few members decide to check in with the young would-be Huntsman. And given the Arc virility? There are a lot of them. Multicross. Comedy (mostly). Taking suggestions for other crossovers and using my usual fan-canon for RWBY.
James Ironwood and Sienna Khan meet at a diplomatic meeting, dealing with their shared, difficult past. They are alone, but they're alone together. Drama, James/Sienna, One-Shot.
Pyrrha Nikos was not spying on Jaune Arc. Absolutely not! And when she's caught not spying, Jaune and Neo aren't mad. They invite her in. NSFW, Lemon, Arkos x Silent Knight, One-Shot.

multi femslash
Given the barebones nature of RWBY's worldbuilding, filling it out can help you come up with new story ideas. In this volume I will post technical data, character bios, nation histories, politics, philosophies, and many other things you can use in RWBY fanfic or other forms of fanfic to help build the world and create new plots.
In an alternate universe, Jaune is the oldest of his siblings and has had to take care of his little sisters. Who all come to visit Jaune. Surely RWBY, Nora, Ren and Pyrrha can watch them for a little while without issue... Right? One-Shot, A commisison for CrimeSorciere, Comedy.
Power corrupts, and absolute power is actually pretty neat. In tribute to a fun fanfic, here's my own take on poor Jaune Arc going into politics. Comedy, Multi-ship, will update sporadically (sorry).
CRDL is doing its best to make friends with Jaune. And what better way than by being his wingman? Dragonslayer, One-Shot, Comedy. For Dragonslayer Week 2025.
Adam Taurus has met his match. Jaune Arc just wanted to get to Beacon. What follows is an epic rivalry... In one of these men's minds. One-Shot, Comedy, Crack, Fun.
Yang has learned that Jaune Arc's mother, Doctor Isabel Arc, is one of the strongest hand to hand fighters in Vale's history. So she decides to test herself against her. How hard could it be? Yang-centric, Action/Drama, Original Character, One-Shot. Dragonslayer hinted. For Dragonslayer Week 2025.
Yang's beloved Bumblebee gets wrecked. Jaune Arc tries to help fix it... Along with Yang's heart. Dragonslayer, One-Shot, Hurt/Comfort. For Dragonslayer Week 2025!
Yang is put under house arrest after everyone believes she assaulted Mercury in the Vytal Tournament. Well... Almost everyone. Dragonslayer, One-Shot, Hurt/Comfort. For Dragonslayer Week 2025! Happy birthday Yang!
Cardin talks to Velvet. But it's not that he likes her or-or anything! Holy Bun, Comedy, Tsundere!Cardin, One-Shot.
Adam takes a hostage in the form of Lilac Arc, Jaune's older sister. The plan? Get some prisoners back in exchange for her. However... Drama, One-shot, no pairings, OC, Adam Taurus Character Study.
Jaune Arc's mother comes to Beacon to serve as a part-time therapist. These are her sessions.
Hanging around Beacon trying to find his incompetent older sister was not Whitley's idea of a good time. Indeed, it wasn't anybody's, he suspected. Having to wait outside her plebian dormroom was even worse. And finally, having to tolerate her team leader Ruby Rose was the limit. One-shot, Whiter Rose/Wildrose, Comedy, hope you enjoy!
In another universe, Pyrrha has a dream: To go to Beacon with her greatest rival.. And the man she loves. The Invincible Girl versus the Implacable Boy. One-Shot, Commission, Arkos.
Ren takes revenge for his Nora, the only way he can. One Shot, Ren-centric, Drama, late for Monty Oum's birthday.
Arslan Altan is a Warrior Nun of the Church, a defender of the innocent, an upright and moral young woman... Except when Jaune Arc is shirtless in the summer heat. Then... Well she's only mortal. One-Shot, Noble Lion, Gift for Titanmaster 117.
Ozpin has a plan to save Remnant and defeat Salem once and for all! If only the key part of his plan will cooperate. The key? Jaune Arc. One-Shot, Comedy.
Yang gets dragged into another damn magical pony adventure with Jaune alongside. Crack, One-Shot, Dragonslayer. Based off of Scooterix Studios' My Little Pony shorts.
What if Beacon started a bit later, and Ren and Nora figured out their feelings for eachother a bit earlier? Well... One-Shot, Renora, Baby Thor. Enjoy.

The First Wand by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry learns something important about wizard's wands. And he and Ron have to be boys about it and Hermione cannot even. One-Shot, Rated for subject matter but nothing explicit, Humor, just Ron and Harry being immature teenaged boys. For ProfessorQuill.
Pyrrha shares one of the few parts of her celebrity life she enjoys with Jaune... Even if it's one of the hardest. Arkos, One-Shot, Drama, Hurt and Comfort.
Ren gets a package and goes missing. His friends search for him. Ruby is the one who finds him with Zwei, and learns why he's chosen solitude... And helps him deal with it. Friendship, One-Shot.
After saving the world and ending the Grimm threat, Team RWBY... Is broke and in a bad shape. At their lowest point, Jaune Arc comes back into their lives to invite them to his sister's wedding. He's well off. He's handsome. And he's single. Let the competition for a secure life as his bride begin!
Weiss Schnee has tried with Blake. She really has! But nothing seems good enough for her! Sun Wukong can relate... Which gives Weiss an idea. Sunflakes (sort of).
What if Velvet reacted differently to Cardin's bullying? Holy Bun, One-Shot, Comedy. Rated for language and Velvet's filthy mind and mouth.
Ruby is a tactical mastermind! She just ensured Yang and Jaune won't go to the Dance alone, and her big sister is out of her hair! What could possibly go wrong?
Cardin's little sister gets loose at Beacon, and finds an example of her obsession: A bunny. Holy Bun, Velvet/Cardin, One Shot. Happy Easter.
Cardin seeks Velvet out to apologize. He's just hoping for a bit of redemption, but things may get more complicated, and fast. One-shot, Holy Bun.

Ron Settles Things by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Ronald Weasley isn't stupid, and he realizes something. One-Shot, Comedy.
May Zedong was happy once. Once. One-Shot, Origin story for May Zedong, Gift for Titanmaster 117. Enjoy.
Weiss and Nora share Dust class, and learn to bond a bit despite their mutual issues. Because that's the only way to make an explosion. One-shot, Friendship.
Weiss Schnee is surprised by who her match for a marriage meeting is. And so is he. White Knight, One Shot.
Yang is a bit insecure in her femininity. Jaune helps her realize she's fine the way she is. Sort of Dragonslayer, One-shot.
Yang is a party girl and she's been around. She knows how to handle romance... Right? Well she doesn't really. But Jaune is willing to help her out. Sort-of Dragonslayer, One-Shot.
Pyrrha sees Jaune with her old rival, Arslan, going off in secret. Whatever could they be doing together? Pyrrha's gonna find out! One-shot, Worldbuilding. Arkos and Noble Lion.
In a slightly wilder and untamed Remnant, former cowhand Jaune Arc makes his way to achieve his dreams as a Huntsman. Cowboy!Jaune, influenced by Westerns and other classics. Enjoy.
Jaune and Yang have been spending a lot more time together. And Pyrrha is curious as to why. Not that she's jealous or anything! But she's going to find out what's going on... Lemon, Fun, Happy Valentine's Day.

multi femslash
Yang has a surprise for Jaune. It's a surprise to her, too. Dragonslayer
The Huntsman returns to defend Vale City from nefarious evildoers! With his trusty sidekick Wonder-Zwei, the Cunning Crusader will face... Lusty schoolgirls in fetish clothing? Oh dear.
Jaune really does appreciate Pyrrha and all she does. She's an amazing mentor. But she does have her blind spots, as do other Huntresses... Especially when it comes to where babies come from. Poor Jaune. One-Shot.
Jaune wants to make Nora something special for her birthday. Yang helps out. Both find out some interesting things about the other. Dragonslayer, One-Shot.
Jaune Arc's mother made a deal to save his life when he was a baby. A deal with the Devil. And now the Devil comes to collect. One-Shot, Horror, Tragedy. Please review.
Ruby is saved by a strange recluse in the woods. One who has some words of wisdom for her... One-Shot, Ruby-centric, for her birthday and Halloween.
Ruby is incredibly curious about Jaune: Why does he never take off his shirt around them? Well, the precocious little reaper is gonna find out... And find out some things about herself, too. Lancaster, One-Shot.
Here, Jaune Arc gave up a lot more to become a Hunter. A lot of time, a lot of trust, and a lot of blood. What happens when his past catches up with him? This Story is On Hiatus for now.
Ruby Rose doesn't stream a lot anymore due to Beacon, but she does try to keep up for her fans from time to time on her gaming channel. Of course, her longtime rival DarkArc would have to show up that day and humiliate her. Strangely enough though, he might be closer than Ruby thinks... One-Shot, Lancaster, Comedy. Enjoy!
Pyrrha has a conversation with Jaune's parents on accident. And learns a lot more about her crush than she thought. One-Shot, Worldbuilding.
Pyrrha Nikos is set up by her mother with a potential suitor. Turns out it's Jaune. She thinks it's the answer to her prayers... Just one problem: Jaune's sister, Tangerine Arc. And she's not letting Pyrrha use her brother without a fight. Arkos, One-Shot.
Wherein Nami learns that blurting things out and practical jokes might lead to happy endings... Cover image provided by AquariusWind. Crossposted on Ao3. On Hiatus (Again).
Yang and Jaune are the only members of their team with driver's licenses. So they bitch about it afterwards. Dragonslayer Week 2024, One-Shot.
Jaune Arc's dad shows up with his birthday present a bit early, and Yang Xiao-Long (among others) see a new side of Jaune. One she likes... If she can get a ride. Dragonslayer, One-shot, for Dragonslayer Week 2024.
Jaune's guitar serenade works, but not in the way he hoped for... Dragonslayer, Oneshot.
Yang tries to be domestic. Turns out that's right in Jaune's strike zone. So he's a bit impulsive. Fortunately for him? So is Yang. Dragonslayer 2024.
Yang has some problems with Bumblebee. Jaune offers to help... And proves he knows how to do something right. One-shot for Dragonslayer Week 2024.
Yang and Jaune have been having a lot of arguments about Ruby lately, and Ruby is sick of it! So as a team leader, she orders them to resolve it! One-Shot, Dragonslayer.
After the fall of Beacon, Ruby and her friends are recovering on Patch and preparing for their next step. Yang is struggling to recover, and so is Jaune. But Ruby can't get through to Yang, and asks Jaune to help her big sister when she can't. Maybe they can help eachother... Smut, Dragonslayer.
Yang is bored and she makes it Jaune's problem. She may regret this... Or will she? Dragonslayer, one shot.
Jaune's musical explorations leave him a bit bewildered. But Yang helps put him on the right track. Dragonslayer, One-Shot.
Slight crossover with Gakuen Babysitters. Yang finds out what Jaune's been doing on the weekends-And bonds with him after she almost makes a terrible mistake. Slight Dragonslayer, and slight Gakuen Babysitters crossover.
A Sequel to "There Will Emerge a New Hope". Luke begins to rebuild the Jedi Order. But it's not going to be easy... Mishmash of Legends, Disney, and Star Wars: Visions. Enjoy.
In an alternate universe, Jaune goes to Menagerie to bring Blake back to RWBY. Blake is resistant at first, and wants to focus on making up for her regrets. Maybe the two of them can find some peace together. Knightshade. Hurt/Comfort and smut.
In a fight between a sexy bunny girl and politics? Bet on the sexy bunny girl. One-Shot.

Uninspired Voyages by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A trouble magnet Starfleet Intelligence Agent finds himself on the USS Voyager. Hilarity and complexity ensues. NOT a Self Insert, AU. DEAD.

Happy Accidents & One Aggrieved Bookworm by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Septima Vector hadn't meant to fall in love with Harry Potter. Like everything else involving the Boy Who Lived, it was unplanned, unexpected, and filled with chaos. Slow burn romance, student/teacher eventual smut, HP/SV Please Read and review.
Naruto brought something else back from Wave Country... A twist on an overused cliche.
Omakes, story snippets, and random ideas for stories collected into one neat volume. Enjoy.
USS Defiant with her AI ends up in a very different universe... But a shipgirl's not gonna just let some aliens genocide humanity, right? Bad news is, she's not the only one who made it... A spin off of "Paint and Powder",

Crumpled Horned Plot Bunnies by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Random Harry Potter ideas that I haven't found a place for yet. But maybe, you can. Enjoy!
Doctor Aphra and Luke Skywalker have moments. Sometimes poignant, sometimes funny.
Luke and Winter get trapped in a cave in, and have to make the time somehow. Friendship fic, a bit of fluff. Hope you enjoy.
Post-Series. Xander Harris has crossed paths with other universes before. But what happens when he runs into the CW's take on Supergirl? One Shot, for a friend.

Daphne Greengrass Can't Communicate! by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Daphne Greengrass, the infamous Ice Queen of Slytherin. But what if there was another reason for her taciturn nature? One shot, no pairings, hope you enjoy!

Sacrifice by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry wanted to be loved, and was willing to give up anything for it. Fortunately, the gods are kinder than we realize. One Shot, Story Challenge. inspired by Norse Mythology and In/Spectre.
Because the ramen girl deserves some fun ninja adventures too! Read, and enjoy! Review too, if you please!
There were other survivors of Alderaan... And they had their own reactions and plans for resistance. No longer a one shot.
Luke is trying to find materials for his new Jedi Order on Dantooine, when he runs into... Himself? Legends canon, more or less. One shot.
Luke finds out who his father is. Ahsoka finds out why she survived. They both figure out how to reconcile things. Set between ESB and ROTJ. Designed to fit into canon seamlessly.

Way of the Magic Househusband by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Auror Captain? Like hell. Harry will be far happier as a househusband... Inspired by the manga "The Way of the House Husband". Enjoy! For the HMS Harmony Discord's MAYhem event.

No Man is an Island by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Barty Crouch Jr. had one more trick up his sleeve-A randomized Portkey to send Harry somewhere else. Over a month later, Dumbledore and Harry's friends have tracked Harry down to a tropical island full of danger. Where Harry has definitely undergone a change, and Dumbledore's original plan to defeat Voldemort is scrap. Time for a new one, then.

Harry Potter and the Heir to Gondor by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry Potter draws a different sword in the Chamber of Secrets, which leads to ancient magic, both good and evil, reawakening in the world. A very different take on the classic Harry Potter/LOTR fusion. Pairings undecided. Read and review please.

Anniversary by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

When Luna's mother died, Ron remembered his mother and father rushing him over to the Lovegood house... One shot.

Ouroboros by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU 7th Year. Hogwarts' defenses are falling apart, due to a thousand years of neglect, poor maintenance, and now a Dark Lord's army assaulting it. How does the Trio fix it? Well, sometimes all you can do is go back to the beginning... One shot, no pairings, just for fun.

A Pureblood's Duty by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Draco Malfoy tries to live up to his mother's expectations. He succeeds... Unfortunately. Oneshot, AU, no pairings, R&R please.

Kings and Queens by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Daphne Greengrass wants to know if those points Ron Weasley got for Wizard's Chess in First Year were earned, or given. Ron demonstrates his skill, and soon is in for more than he expected. One shot, Chess themed, RonxDaphne. R&R please.

Stumble by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry stumbles into Susan Bones on an important anniversary. One that turns out to be more significant for both of them. Harry/Susan, one shot.

A Veela Bonds by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

The Yule Ball sucked. But Fleur Delacour wasn't about to let that spoil her evening... Harry/Fleur, Smut, One-Shot, everyone's Aged up. R&R please.

Destined Lovers by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Hermione has the perfect plan to get Harry all to herself in Year 6. Which, sadly, doesn't go quite according to plan... Just for fun. R&R.
Saucy shorts about a new take on the Naruharem concept. Enjoy!
It's probably dumber than you think, so what have you got to lose? R&R, please.
Neji Hyuuga confronts Shino Aburame a week before the Chuunin Exams... One shot. Not Yaoi. Rated for serious themes.

Detox by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

There really is an easy way to explain all the weirdness and ridiculousness in Star Trek: Voyager. And of course, it's all because of Neelix. Buckle in, kids, this is gonna be a doozy...
What if Naruto had a twin sister? That is the subject of many fics. This oneshot examines a slightly different take on the concept. Read and review please!
If Naruto did have a Sharingan, that makes him family. And Sasuke takes care of his family... Much to Naruto's chagrin. Not your usual Bloodline!Naruto story. One shot, crackfic. Enjoy.
Turns out there's a very good reason Haku was made to think she was a boy: To keep the world safe from death by dehydration. Now she's free, there's only one ninja who can stop her... Fem!Haku, crackfic, one shot. Rated for naughty allusions but not a lemon.
What it says on the tin. Oneshot, crack fic. Enjoy!

Prodigal Sons by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Raditz comes to Earth to recruit his little brother for the surviving Saiyans. He runs into an unexpected complication: His mother Gine. AU based on MasakoX's DB What ifs? series.

O' Brave New World by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Year Five, crack pairing. Hermione's mum has come to visit after a nasty divorce. Sirius Black is an ex-convict. You get the picture... As do Harry and Hermione, unfortunately.

Daddy's Home by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A one shot for Penny's return in "The Greatest Kingdom". And a crossover to boot.
AU. After defeating Aizen, Ichigo decides he needs to find a job. Urahara and Yoruichi, unsurprisingly, have a suggestion or two...
Minato sent his son... Somewhere else, after sealing the Kyuubi inside him. Ten years later, Konoha gets him back. They probably weren't expecting all this, though... COMPLETED, UP FOR ADOPTION.
Reg Barclay saves the galaxy with a little thing from the 21st century... Add-On to "I, Borg".
The multiverse is now known to the general population of the Disney Kingdom. So the Disney Knights expand their ranks and go out to secure the multiverse. Among them? Some familiar faces...
In this universe, Pellaeon left a wife and son behind on Imperial Center, whom his political opponents target as soon as they can. To protect her son, the Lady Pellaeon has to reveal a secret she's kept since the Clone Wars... And will change the course of the Empire forever.

Parents as People by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

One unfortunate part of being part of a family with a mom and dad? Mom and Dad things. Rated just for adult implications, one shot, humor.

Hands on Tension by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Set around Season 2. Ezra and Leia meet again, and have some fun being normal teenagers. Sabine gets to experience something normal, too: Jealousy.

Customs of Mandalore by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Part of the "There Will Emerge a New Hope" Continuity. A tag for Season 3's "Legacy of Mandalore" that answers the question: Why didn't Sabine hug Ezra goodbye? Turns out? She didn't have to.
Really, it's a wonder they weren't found out immediately. So what if they were? ROTS Ep 3 AU, mostly comedy, AnakinPadme.
In which Bruce recounts a strange battle, Tony realizes he's known as the Hulk's sugar daddy, and Natasha laughs. A lot.
What is this story: Humor? Drama? Romance? Crack? In a word, yes. In four words, all of the above. Enjoy! Rated for language.
Anko and Naruto are up to something. And the rest of the Konoha 12 are out to find out what it is. No matter the cost!

Vehicular Manslaughter by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Fem!Shep finds a motorcycle. She invites Wrex along for a ride. The Warmaster accepts, though he fears he'll just be bored. That wasn't what he should have been afraid of...

The Hand Bites Back by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

The sequel to the extremely confusing and over the top "Biting the Hand That Feeds You!" More economics shenanigans! More giant magic robots! More romantic hijinks! And even more crack!

multi femslash

TRUTINA by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Computers and Magic mix to produce some interesting results... Which Hermione Granger discovers.

The Forest of Dean by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A one shot AU of DH. Ron doesn't reconnect with his friends until three months later. But how much of a difference will THAT make?
Steve, feeling a bit down after the Winter Soldier, gets cheered up by an old friend from WWII... One-shot.

Biting the Hand That Feeds You by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU Start to Sixth Year. What do you do to stop a genocidal dark wizard? Try appeasement. If it sinks your entire economy, well... That just makes things more interesting.
Thor, Jane, and "hammers".

Saiyan Birds and Bees by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Vegeta gives Rule!63 Gohan... The talk.
Pun definitely intentional...
A tag to "The Wedding of River Song" about Captain Carter's stylistic choices when it comes to regeneration...

My Gilded Life: An Alternate Ending by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

An alternate take on Perfect Lionheart/Skysaber's infamous fic "My Gilded Life". See what you make of it.
Tony Stark tries his hand at matchmaking. Sort of Cap/Natasha.

Blasto: The Dogs of Tartarus by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

During some downtime, the crew of the Normandy helps out with the latest Blasto film...

Priorities by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

One shot. The Illusive Man's thought process behind making Dr. Eva Core's hookerbot body.

Tiptree by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU Post-Mass Effect 3, Shepard and Joker visit Tiptree.

My Big Fat Quarian Wedding by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Shepard promised he'd build Tali' a house, and by God he's gonna do it! No matter how much of a mess it causes. One shot.

Shepard, Queen of the Reapers by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Something happens that the Catalyst did not expect... And Shepard's taken on a few more upgrades. Oneshot, spoilers for ME3.

In the Bright Sunshine by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A fix-fic for Star Trek: Insurrection with Sisko in the place of Picard.
In which Luffy again learns that hitting things does not solve all his problems. Rather, they multiply them... And him... And the rest of the crew...
This is what happens when you watch a DS9 episode and play through the Mass Effect games in the same week...
Because sometimes a Time Lord hiding out in another universe needs to stretch his legs... Oneshot

A Logical Solution by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Keiko O'Brien has a solution to Kira and Miles' sexual tension. A silly AU of "Looking for par'mach in all the wrong places".

That Boy Is Trouble by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Privet Drive is home to many secrets, many lies... And many sexually frustrated women. As Harry Potter soon finds out. AU Fifth Year, HP/HG/NT/Various, rated for general naughtiness. R&R

Ronald Weasley, Ace Attorney by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A silly AU of book seven's end. Not epilogue compliant. I know, I'm heartbroken too...
Someone else is thrust into the role of Team 7's sensei. Chaos ensues.

Spare Parts by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Evangelion ideas, snippets, and other unfinished bits for your entertainment and perusal. Enjoy!
The end of Naruto-My way.

Homecoming by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Fallen from grace, neither human nor Angel, the so-called Prince of Darkness makes his return to Earth at last. R&R please.

Castling by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is not mine. I am not writing this for profit. Please enjoy.

Warp Speed Time Loop by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

A one shot for Infinite Time Loops on The Fanfiction Forums. Harry Kim gets his chance to set everything right...
We've all seen them. Fics putting the Naruto characters into different time periods, usually the modern day. Most of them are nothing more than yaoi wankfests or ripoffs of other anime based on life in high school. This one's a little different...
Based on my Alternative Canon universe, trouble brews as the canon Naruto universe comes into contact with another, and crossover begins.

A Little More Warning by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Bardock gets just a little bit more warning via timeloop for the destruction of the Saiyan Homeworld... And brings his friends along. AU, Oneshot, don't take it too seriously, Merry Christmas.

The Nargles In the Air by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Luna had a growth spurt. Harry notices. Sixth Year AU, HarryLuna, Lemon warning, no longer a one shot. Enjoy.
Snippets for an alternate take on the Naruto-verse.
A Naru-punch too far sends Keitaro crashing into the heart of the Chinese Amazon village, knocking out a certain purple-haired girl setting out on a journey of revenge. Inevitably, chaos and hilarity ensues.
As if the Kyuubi wasn't enough, Naruto Uzumaki gains a power that will change the fate of the universe and his life forever. Lucky him. Crossover with Kingdom Hearts, AU. Completely revised and rewritten.
In which Naruto Uzumaki discovers that curiosity isn't too lenient on foxes either. Crossover with Stargate: SG-1, among others. Rated for language, violence and innuendo.
A bit of One Piece crack, in the style of the Strawhat Theater television shorts. Enjoy.
What if Nagato had another jutsu left before he died? One to ensure that the Elemental Countries would never be the same again? One-shot, stream of consciousness. R&R please.
Faced with imprisonment and possible death, the Kyuubi embarks on a desperate gamble to free itself. Uzumaki Naruto? Meet Uzumaki Naruto.

B for Boom by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

AU of the summer before DH. Ron and Luna investigate the possibility of using Muggle technology for the coming war with Voldemort-But how helpful could this "fertilizer bomb" thing really be? RL pairing, rated for language.
DLP 2.77

Harry Potter and the Combat Butler by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Crack! Alternate take on Harry's fifth year. What happens when the disowned, slightly insane Squib son of Lucius Malfoy agrees to come back to Wizarding Britain to serve as Harry's bodyguard? Not a self-insert. Rated for language and innuendo, no slash.
Having unwittingly escaped the Uchiha massacre thanks to her eldest son, Mikoto Uchiha returns to a changed Konoha after Sasuke defected. And thus decides to be a mother to her son's best friend-Naruto Uzumaki.
Love was not the only emotion that could easily be likened to a flame. Mikoto found this fascinating as well..." R&R
It's funny what you see in puddles during the rain. Sometimes it's a reflection, and other times, it's a warning. Sakura-centric one-shot.
REWRITTEN AND REVISED AS KEY THROUGH THE HEART: FINAL MIX. CONSIDER THIS A ROUGH DRAFT.
Oneshot. What if Jiraiya and Naruto were in Cloud country when Yugito was about to be nabbed by Akatsuki?
Or, Bonding over Explosives is Fun! Naruten. Please R&R.
Jumper Twenty Two: Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Plugsuits by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Definitely not your average selfinsert fic... In that the bad SIs are killed by our heroes. C'mon... You know you're curious...
Sakura's always been in denial about Sasuke. Naruto finally breaks her out of it. Crack fic, completely dialogue and onamatopoeia.

Bat Tales: NERV's Belfry by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

How much trouble could one little bat be? To Shinji Ikari, it allowed him to bring a fictional hero to life and change the fate of humanity. Way to go, doofus... Fusion with Batman.
The last few months of Naruto's three year training trip have unforeseen consequences, as the skills he gains from a mysterious sensei make him both powerful... And vulnerable. Not quite a parody of Super!Naruto stories, but in that general direction...
PostKH2. Naminé thought she and Kairi would reintegrate like Sora and Roxas, and that would be that. There's just one thing she didn't count on... SoraNaminé and KairiRiku pairings.
To Alice, Sora is her rescuer in more ways than one. Oneshot, SoraAlice Solice. R&R, it's my first KH fic.
Updated: Kenpachi Zaraki goes to the church he inspired. The rest of Soul Society is not sure what to make of it.

Stargate: Evangelion by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Chapter Five: "Bathing is like the washing machine of life" -Misato Katsuragi
Itachi has come to Konoha for the purposes of showing just what Team 7 and Team Gai are to him: Second rate. Crack, oneshot songfic, no pairings.
Shorts stories about what the Narutoverse would be like if the Rookie Nine were the Rookie Twelve. Original characters, AU.Read and review please.
Harry Potter in the 26th century... And the crew of Serenity's along for the ride. Drabble challenge, multiple crossovers. Back in business.

Facets by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Two views from Shinji and Misato following the Fourteenth Angel attack. WAFF, ShinjiMisato if you squint. Mild language.

Rising Eva by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Various StargateEvangelion crossover drabbles. R&R!

Memories by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Crossover with Final Fantasy VII. Daniel and Jack reflect on the wild year they've had on PLANET, and on a certain Ancient flower girl...

A Wartime Necessity by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Post HBP. Issue 2: Air war against the Dementors. Inside the USUK conflicts over wizard legal rights. And a cure for lycanthropy...

Simply Oi! by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Silly parody of the Marriage Law Challenge, with bizarre couplings, snake babies, and Draco having a stroke! Enjoy the randomness!

Dun Dun Dun by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

HBP spoilers. Something to make the HH and RL shippers feel better...

Canterbury SG1 by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

The SG-1 crew, according to Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales'. Chapter 1: Daniel

Night by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Harry mulls over past events, and his future... Post-OotP, Harry-angst. R&R

So Much For Nuremburg by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Or, "The Satisfying Deaths of "Professor" Umbridge. WARNING: Umbridge death and dismemberment, crazy yet eloquent humor, and a dose of H/Hr!

Prank Calls of Middle Earth-Short n' Sweet by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

Pippin plays some prank calls on Legolas, Arwen, and Aragorn. Hints of Arwen/Legolas, Aragorn/Eowyn. Short, pointless, but ( I think) Funny! Enjoy!

A Quiet Moment by Andrew Joshua Talon Stale Result (Last seen: )

My first attempt at a Harry Potter fic. Give me a little slack....