Stories by Andrew Joshua Talon

Plot bunnies and ideas for RWBY fics from a newcomer to the fandom. Take for your own, or just be inspired.

Yang has a surprise for Jaune. It's a surprise to her, too. Dragonslayer

After the fall of Beacon, Ruby and her friends are recovering on Patch and preparing for their next step. Yang is struggling to recover, and so is Jaune. But Ruby can't get through to Yang, and asks Jaune to help her big sister when she can't. Maybe they can help eachother... Smut, Dragonslayer.

In an alternate universe, Jaune goes to Menagerie to bring Blake back to RWBY. Blake is resistant at first, and wants to focus on making up for her regrets. Maybe the two of them can find some peace together. Knightshade, slowburn. Hurt/Comfort and smut.

Here, Jaune Arc gave up a lot more to become a Hunter. A lot of time, a lot of trust, and a lot of blood. What happens when his past catches up with him? Uploading every two weeks. Next will be on 4/26.

In a fight between a sexy bunny girl and politics? Bet on the sexy bunny girl. One-Shot.

A trouble magnet Starfleet Intelligence Agent finds himself on the USS Voyager. Hilarity and complexity ensues. NOT a Self Insert, AU. DEAD.

Septima Vector hadn't meant to fall in love with Harry Potter. Like everything else involving the Boy Who Lived, it was unplanned, unexpected, and filled with chaos. Slow burn romance, student/teacher eventual smut, HP/SV Please Read and review.

Wherein Nami learns that blurting things out and practical jokes might lead to happy endings... Cover image provided by AquariusWind. Crossposted on Ao3. On Hiatus (Again).

A Sequel to "There Will Emerge a New Hope". Luke begins to rebuild the Jedi Order. But it's not going to be easy... Mishmash of Legends, Disney, and Star Wars: Visions. Enjoy.

Naruto brought something else back from Wave Country... A twist on an overused cliche.

Omakes, story snippets, and random ideas for stories collected into one neat volume. Enjoy.

USS Defiant with her AI ends up in a very different universe... But a shipgirl's not gonna just let some aliens genocide humanity, right? Bad news is, she's not the only one who made it... A spin off of "Paint and Powder",

Random Harry Potter ideas that I haven't found a place for yet. But maybe, you can. Enjoy!

Doctor Aphra and Luke Skywalker have moments. Sometimes poignant, sometimes funny.

Luke and Winter get trapped in a cave in, and have to make the time somehow. Friendship fic, a bit of fluff. Hope you enjoy.

Post-Series. Xander Harris has crossed paths with other universes before. But what happens when he runs into the CW's take on Supergirl? One Shot, for a friend.

Daphne Greengrass, the infamous Ice Queen of Slytherin. But what if there was another reason for her taciturn nature? One shot, no pairings, hope you enjoy!

Harry wanted to be loved, and was willing to give up anything for it. Fortunately, the gods are kinder than we realize. One Shot, Story Challenge. inspired by Norse Mythology and In/Spectre.

Because the ramen girl deserves some fun ninja adventures too! Read, and enjoy! Review too, if you please!

There were other survivors of Alderaan... And they had their own reactions and plans for resistance. No longer a one shot.

Luke is trying to find materials for his new Jedi Order on Dantooine, when he runs into... Himself? Legends canon, more or less. One shot.

Luke finds out who his father is. Ahsoka finds out why she survived. They both figure out how to reconcile things. Set between ESB and ROTJ. Designed to fit into canon seamlessly.

Auror Captain? Like hell. Harry will be far happier as a househusband... Inspired by the manga "The Way of the House Husband". Enjoy! For the HMS Harmony Discord's MAYhem event.

Barty Crouch Jr. had one more trick up his sleeve-A randomized Portkey to send Harry somewhere else. Over a month later, Dumbledore and Harry's friends have tracked Harry down to a tropical island full of danger. Where Harry has definitely undergone a change, and Dumbledore's original plan to defeat Voldemort is scrap. Time for a new one, then.

Harry Potter draws a different sword in the Chamber of Secrets, which leads to ancient magic, both good and evil, reawakening in the world. A very different take on the classic Harry Potter/LOTR fusion. Pairings undecided. Read and review please.

When Luna's mother died, Ron remembered his mother and father rushing him over to the Lovegood house... One shot.

AU 7th Year. Hogwarts' defenses are falling apart, due to a thousand years of neglect, poor maintenance, and now a Dark Lord's army assaulting it. How does the Trio fix it? Well, sometimes all you can do is go back to the beginning... One shot, no pairings, just for fun.

Draco Malfoy tries to live up to his mother's expectations. He succeeds... Unfortunately. Oneshot, AU, no pairings, R&R please.

Daphne Greengrass wants to know if those points Ron Weasley got for Wizard's Chess in First Year were earned, or given. Ron demonstrates his skill, and soon is in for more than he expected. One shot, Chess themed, RonxDaphne. R&R please.

Harry stumbles into Susan Bones on an important anniversary. One that turns out to be more significant for both of them. Harry/Susan, one shot.

The Yule Ball sucked. But Fleur Delacour wasn't about to let that spoil her evening... Harry/Fleur, Smut, One-Shot, everyone's Aged up. R&R please.

Hermione has the perfect plan to get Harry all to herself in Year 6. Which, sadly, doesn't go quite according to plan... Just for fun. R&R.

Saucy shorts about a new take on the Naruharem concept. Enjoy!

It's probably dumber than you think, so what have you got to lose? R&R, please.

Neji Hyuuga confronts Shino Aburame a week before the Chuunin Exams... One shot. Not Yaoi. Rated for serious themes.

There really is an easy way to explain all the weirdness and ridiculousness in Star Trek: Voyager. And of course, it's all because of Neelix. Buckle in, kids, this is gonna be a doozy...

What if Naruto had a twin sister? That is the subject of many fics. This oneshot examines a slightly different take on the concept. Read and review please!

If Naruto did have a Sharingan, that makes him family. And Sasuke takes care of his family... Much to Naruto's chagrin. Not your usual Bloodline!Naruto story. One shot, crackfic. Enjoy.

Turns out there's a very good reason Haku was made to think she was a boy: To keep the world safe from death by dehydration. Now she's free, there's only one ninja who can stop her... Fem!Haku, crackfic, one shot. Rated for naughty allusions but not a lemon.

What it says on the tin. Oneshot, crack fic. Enjoy!

Raditz comes to Earth to recruit his little brother for the surviving Saiyans. He runs into an unexpected complication: His mother Gine. AU based on MasakoX's DB What ifs? series.

Year Five, crack pairing. Hermione's mum has come to visit after a nasty divorce. Sirius Black is an ex-convict. You get the picture... As do Harry and Hermione, unfortunately.

A one shot for Penny's return in "The Greatest Kingdom". And a crossover to boot.

AU. After defeating Aizen, Ichigo decides he needs to find a job. Urahara and Yoruichi, unsurprisingly, have a suggestion or two...

Minato sent his son... Somewhere else, after sealing the Kyuubi inside him. Ten years later, Konoha gets him back. They probably weren't expecting all this, though... COMPLETED, UP FOR ADOPTION.

Reg Barclay saves the galaxy with a little thing from the 21st century... Add-On to "I, Borg".

The multiverse is now known to the general population of the Disney Kingdom. So the Disney Knights expand their ranks and go out to secure the multiverse. Among them? Some familiar faces...

In this universe, Pellaeon left a wife and son behind on Imperial Center, whom his political opponents target as soon as they can. To protect her son, the Lady Pellaeon has to reveal a secret she's kept since the Clone Wars... And will change the course of the Empire forever.

One unfortunate part of being part of a family with a mom and dad? Mom and Dad things. Rated just for adult implications, one shot, humor.

Set around Season 2. Ezra and Leia meet again, and have some fun being normal teenagers. Sabine gets to experience something normal, too: Jealousy.

Part of the "There Will Emerge a New Hope" Continuity. A tag for Season 3's "Legacy of Mandalore" that answers the question: Why didn't Sabine hug Ezra goodbye? Turns out? She didn't have to.

Really, it's a wonder they weren't found out immediately. So what if they were? ROTS Ep 3 AU, mostly comedy, AnakinPadme.

In which Bruce recounts a strange battle, Tony realizes he's known as the Hulk's sugar daddy, and Natasha laughs. A lot.

What is this story: Humor? Drama? Romance? Crack? In a word, yes. In four words, all of the above. Enjoy! Rated for language.

Anko and Naruto are up to something. And the rest of the Konoha 12 are out to find out what it is. No matter the cost!

Fem!Shep finds a motorcycle. She invites Wrex along for a ride. The Warmaster accepts, though he fears he'll just be bored. That wasn't what he should have been afraid of...

The sequel to the extremely confusing and over the top "Biting the Hand That Feeds You!" More economics shenanigans! More giant magic robots! More romantic hijinks! And even more crack!

Computers and Magic mix to produce some interesting results... Which Hermione Granger discovers.

A one shot AU of DH. Ron doesn't reconnect with his friends until three months later. But how much of a difference will THAT make?

Steve, feeling a bit down after the Winter Soldier, gets cheered up by an old friend from WWII... One-shot.

AU Start to Sixth Year. What do you do to stop a genocidal dark wizard? Try appeasement. If it sinks your entire economy, well... That just makes things more interesting.

Thor, Jane, and "hammers".

Vegeta gives Rule!63 Gohan... The talk.

Pun definitely intentional...

A tag to "The Wedding of River Song" about Captain Carter's stylistic choices when it comes to regeneration...

An alternate take on Perfect Lionheart/Skysaber's infamous fic "My Gilded Life". See what you make of it.

Tony Stark tries his hand at matchmaking. Sort of Cap/Natasha.

During some downtime, the crew of the Normandy helps out with the latest Blasto film...

One shot. The Illusive Man's thought process behind making Dr. Eva Core's hookerbot body.

AU Post-Mass Effect 3, Shepard and Joker visit Tiptree.

Shepard promised he'd build Tali' a house, and by God he's gonna do it! No matter how much of a mess it causes. One shot.

Something happens that the Catalyst did not expect... And Shepard's taken on a few more upgrades. Oneshot, spoilers for ME3.

A fix-fic for Star Trek: Insurrection with Sisko in the place of Picard.

In which Luffy again learns that hitting things does not solve all his problems. Rather, they multiply them... And him... And the rest of the crew...

This is what happens when you watch a DS9 episode and play through the Mass Effect games in the same week...

Because sometimes a Time Lord hiding out in another universe needs to stretch his legs... Oneshot

Keiko O'Brien has a solution to Kira and Miles' sexual tension. A silly AU of "Looking for par'mach in all the wrong places".

Privet Drive is home to many secrets, many lies... And many sexually frustrated women. As Harry Potter soon finds out. AU Fifth Year, HP/HG/NT/Various, rated for general naughtiness. R&R

A silly AU of book seven's end. Not epilogue compliant. I know, I'm heartbroken too...

Someone else is thrust into the role of Team 7's sensei. Chaos ensues.

Evangelion ideas, snippets, and other unfinished bits for your entertainment and perusal. Enjoy!

The end of Naruto-My way.

Fallen from grace, neither human nor Angel, the so-called Prince of Darkness makes his return to Earth at last. R&R please.

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is not mine. I am not writing this for profit. Please enjoy.

A one shot for Infinite Time Loops on The Fanfiction Forums. Harry Kim gets his chance to set everything right...

We've all seen them. Fics putting the Naruto characters into different time periods, usually the modern day. Most of them are nothing more than yaoi wankfests or ripoffs of other anime based on life in high school. This one's a little different...

Based on my Alternative Canon universe, trouble brews as the canon Naruto universe comes into contact with another, and crossover begins.

Bardock gets just a little bit more warning via timeloop for the destruction of the Saiyan Homeworld... And brings his friends along. AU, Oneshot, don't take it too seriously, Merry Christmas.

Luna had a growth spurt. Harry notices. Sixth Year AU, HarryLuna, Lemon warning, no longer a one shot. Enjoy.

Snippets for an alternate take on the Naruto-verse.

A Naru-punch too far sends Keitaro crashing into the heart of the Chinese Amazon village, knocking out a certain purple-haired girl setting out on a journey of revenge. Inevitably, chaos and hilarity ensues.

As if the Kyuubi wasn't enough, Naruto Uzumaki gains a power that will change the fate of the universe and his life forever. Lucky him. Crossover with Kingdom Hearts, AU. Completely revised and rewritten.

In which Naruto Uzumaki discovers that curiosity isn't too lenient on foxes either. Crossover with Stargate: SG-1, among others. Rated for language, violence and innuendo.

A bit of One Piece crack, in the style of the Strawhat Theater television shorts. Enjoy.

What if Nagato had another jutsu left before he died? One to ensure that the Elemental Countries would never be the same again? One-shot, stream of consciousness. R&R please.

Faced with imprisonment and possible death, the Kyuubi embarks on a desperate gamble to free itself. Uzumaki Naruto? Meet Uzumaki Naruto.

AU of the summer before DH. Ron and Luna investigate the possibility of using Muggle technology for the coming war with Voldemort-But how helpful could this "fertilizer bomb" thing really be? RL pairing, rated for language.

Crack! Alternate take on Harry's fifth year. What happens when the disowned, slightly insane Squib son of Lucius Malfoy agrees to come back to Wizarding Britain to serve as Harry's bodyguard? Not a self-insert. Rated for language and innuendo, no slash.

Having unwittingly escaped the Uchiha massacre thanks to her eldest son, Mikoto Uchiha returns to a changed Konoha after Sasuke defected. And thus decides to be a mother to her son's best friend-Naruto Uzumaki.

Love was not the only emotion that could easily be likened to a flame. Mikoto found this fascinating as well..." R&R

It's funny what you see in puddles during the rain. Sometimes it's a reflection, and other times, it's a warning. Sakura-centric one-shot.

REWRITTEN AND REVISED AS KEY THROUGH THE HEART: FINAL MIX. CONSIDER THIS A ROUGH DRAFT.

Oneshot. What if Jiraiya and Naruto were in Cloud country when Yugito was about to be nabbed by Akatsuki?

Or, Bonding over Explosives is Fun! Naruten. Please R&R.

Jumper Twenty Two: Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Definitely not your average selfinsert fic... In that the bad SIs are killed by our heroes. C'mon... You know you're curious...

Sakura's always been in denial about Sasuke. Naruto finally breaks her out of it. Crack fic, completely dialogue and onamatopoeia.

How much trouble could one little bat be? To Shinji Ikari, it allowed him to bring a fictional hero to life and change the fate of humanity. Way to go, doofus... Fusion with Batman.

The last few months of Naruto's three year training trip have unforeseen consequences, as the skills he gains from a mysterious sensei make him both powerful... And vulnerable. Not quite a parody of Super!Naruto stories, but in that general direction...

PostKH2. Naminé thought she and Kairi would reintegrate like Sora and Roxas, and that would be that. There's just one thing she didn't count on... SoraNaminé and KairiRiku pairings.

To Alice, Sora is her rescuer in more ways than one. Oneshot, SoraAlice Solice. R&R, it's my first KH fic.

Updated: Kenpachi Zaraki goes to the church he inspired. The rest of Soul Society is not sure what to make of it.

Chapter Five: "Bathing is like the washing machine of life" -Misato Katsuragi

Itachi has come to Konoha for the purposes of showing just what Team 7 and Team Gai are to him: Second rate. Crack, oneshot songfic, no pairings.

Shorts stories about what the Narutoverse would be like if the Rookie Nine were the Rookie Twelve. Original characters, AU.Read and review please.

Harry Potter in the 26th century... And the crew of Serenity's along for the ride. Drabble challenge, multiple crossovers. Back in business.

Two views from Shinji and Misato following the Fourteenth Angel attack. WAFF, ShinjiMisato if you squint. Mild language.

Various StargateEvangelion crossover drabbles. R&R!

Crossover with Final Fantasy VII. Daniel and Jack reflect on the wild year they've had on PLANET, and on a certain Ancient flower girl...

Post HBP. Issue 2: Air war against the Dementors. Inside the USUK conflicts over wizard legal rights. And a cure for lycanthropy...

Silly parody of the Marriage Law Challenge, with bizarre couplings, snake babies, and Draco having a stroke! Enjoy the randomness!

HBP spoilers. Something to make the HH and RL shippers feel better...

The SG-1 crew, according to Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales'. Chapter 1: Daniel

Harry mulls over past events, and his future... Post-OotP, Harry-angst. R&R

Or, "The Satisfying Deaths of "Professor" Umbridge. WARNING: Umbridge death and dismemberment, crazy yet eloquent humor, and a dose of H/Hr!

Pippin plays some prank calls on Legolas, Arwen, and Aragorn. Hints of Arwen/Legolas, Aragorn/Eowyn. Short, pointless, but ( I think) Funny! Enjoy!

My first attempt at a Harry Potter fic. Give me a little slack....